Another Reason Why I’ve Delayed My Sequel…

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authors, book sequels, books, depression, hell, job from hell, mental health, mental illness, sequels, vampires, writing, writing a book, writing a novel

Before I start, I just want to make a couple of announcements:

First off, I will be blogging every Friday for now on. This is to gain momentum for the sequel to my first book, which by the way, is coming along smoothly. I’ve recently finished the first draft to Chapter 7, and have begun Chapter 8. That means I am about halfway, or more, done with the first draft! If all goes well – and I think it will – I’ll have the book published by February 2018.

If I do, it would mean I let five and a half years go by between my first book and its sequel. That’s a long time for an author to take a break between books within a series. I’ve written a lot about my insecurities with writing this sequel, as well as financial reasons for not going forward with it. But I had other reasons for not working much on this book.

It all started when I first moved to Brooklyn in May 2013. From there, I got busy adjusting to life on my own, and job searching. I mentioned on this blog that my job hunt was taking away from my writing, but I had to do with what I had to do. Eventually, I did find a job in the spring of 2014. At first, I was delighted with my new job at this small arts school. But very quickly, I soon realized I was in the job from hell.

And I mean, hell. Everything you can think of that can go wrong at a job happened. For starters, it was a shady place with rumors of grant money being pocketed, parents not seeing their money going where it was supposed to go, embezzlement, you name it. The owners of the school were abusive – verbally, emotionally and psychologically. There was also harassment and slander going on. The turnover rate was very high, and there was always a wonder when the IRS would show up. I was there for 15 months before leaving, or rather, running away from the place. Soon after, I sued my former employer in small claims court for tax fraud. We settled out of court, with me getting everything I asked.

Those 15 months took a huge toll on me. Everyday I would come home miserable, angry or even totally depressed. The strain of working at an abusive workplace caused me to have a mental breakdown. It also caused me to not have the energy to do any kind of writing. I believe that if I had not taken that job, I would have finished my sequel by now, and it would’ve been released by now.

So, that was 15 months taken away from writing. Granted, I was starting to have doubts about whether I wanted to continue writing anything fictional anymore when I first began the job. I was going through some personal changes and self-discovery, and was realizing where else I could point my writing skills towards. It is important not to put your talents or skills into a single box, and to know that your talents and skills could be used for multiple things. Basically, it is not the end of the world if you do not write a book.

But I still like creating characters, writing stories, making up worlds. It may not be the sole purpose to my existence, but it is a part of it. I have learned that I have other talents and abilities to add color to my life, and I intend to use them for places that deserve them.

At the same time, it is important to not waste your time at a job, or relationship, or anything, that sucks the life out of you. Life is short, and you are precious human being. There’s no reason to waste your self-worth on someone or something that doesn’t respect you.

And if you want to create, paint, dance, act…whichever, it is important that your mind is in the right place. Creativity is like a plant: If it doesn’t get sun, it withers. Bad energy blocks creativity, and it makes it wither.

So, there you go. One of the many reasons why my sequel to The Dark Proposal has been delayed. I hope what I told you here will be of help to you!

Is A Writer’s Work Ever Done?

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am writing, authors, editing, James Joyce, novelists, Ray Bradbury, re-write, satisfaction, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel

As I work on the sequel to The Dark Proposal, I find myself writing and re-writing scenes or even entire chapters again and again. It is mainly because I am not satisfied enough with what I had written, so I re-write whatever I’ve done. I do this three or four times before I can say that I am satisfied with my work. Satisfied enough to move on to the next chapter (BTW, I’m up to Chapter 7 now!!!).

Which makes me wonder: is a writer’s work ever done?

Answer: Probably not.

Writers are often their worst critics. We always think there is a better word to describe a character or scene than the one we chose. We always think there are better words for our characters to use. We always think there is a better way to end a scene or chapter. There’s always the right words to use…and yet, we never seem to find them.

Famed science fiction writer Ray Bradbury was said to have put his away his work for a year, before re-reading and re-editing his WIP. James Joyce, the author of the classic novel, Ulysses, was said to have spent all day debating where to put a comma in his WIP.

Writers are never satisfied. There is always room for improvement. There is always something better to describe, explain or talk about. There is always a better word to use, or two or three. And with some stories, there are endless possibilities with the main character(s) that sometimes we wonder if we are covering all the necessary bases, and if we have to cover all of them at all.

Being a writer is frustrating.

And it is not only fiction writers, journalists, essayists, poets and songwriters who deal with this. Even college students writing their countless assigned essays are never completely satisfied with their work. When I discuss re-writing and editing one’s work with my students, I am amazed by how many admit to re-writing their essays even before they hand them in. They always say, there is always room for improvement.

Always room for improvement. So, if nothing is perfect, when does the room for improvement end? When does a writer say, enough is enough! When do we stop driving ourselves crazy?

For me, there is a level of satisfaction that comes with writing that makes me say, enough is enough. I could re-write a whole chapter ad infinitum. But it gets to the point where I cannot let my insecurities rule me like that and I have to say to myself, this chapter is good enough. I am satisfied enough with what I put down. Maybe not 100% satisfied with it, because that is starting to look like an impossibility. But 90% satisfied? 85%? Sure! I can live with that.

I may always want to improve on that chapter, and may just do so in the future before I actually publish my work. But there comes a point where I would need to stop, and say, enough is enough.

 

How Do You Choose a Story to Write?

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authors, indie writers, influences, inspiration, muse, muses, story inspirations, the art of writing, writers, writing

How does a writer decide which story they are going to work on? What makes them choose, out of all the ideas in their head, one specific one to work on and devote all their energy to?

Image via Flickr

From my perspective, it is all about timing. Sometimes there is something going on in the world that a writer has to respond to or interpret. Kind of like the 2011 novel, When She Woke by Hillary Jordan. That book is a take on the anti-abortion sentiment in the United States, which is relevant to many in recent years.

Or perhaps someone has something to say, such JRR Tolkien when he wrote The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Supposedly, he was inspired by the events of WWI, which he fought in, as well as his take on male friendships, which he supposedly felt was too fractured.

Or some writers pay attention to trends. A few years ago, BDSM erotica books were all the rage, thanks to the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy. At the same time, YA dystopian books were widely popular, and there were many different books of that genre.

Or quite simply, a writer is inspired by a muse, and they have to get that story out. No matter the trends, no matter what is going on in the world. There is something in their subconscious that is forcing words to get to paper, or a computer screen. Sometimes the muse chooses what book to write, not the author.

How about you? Who or what inspired you to write your most recent work?

When It Comes To Writing, Don’t Overdo It

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art of writing, authors, book sequels, novelists, On Writing, the craft of writing, the writing process, vampires, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, writing a story, writing advice

Writing a book teaches you a lot of things. You think you know, but you don’t know, and writing a book is quite an experience.

Writing a sequel is the same thing, only more. You continue to grow as a writer, while also learning tons about writing a follow-up.

Click here for original image on Jim Delorey’s website

One thing I am learning about writing a sequel is, don’t overdo it.

Heck, you shouldn’t overdo it when you write a first or stand-alone book.

But as I write my sequel, I realize there are times when I lose focus and I start to overdo it with my storytelling. Writing a sequel means picking up where you left off with the first book, and carrying on into another story or extending with the first book’s story. It is not as easy as it sounds. Especially when you realize there were some things that could’ve gone into the first book, and now you’re mentioning it in the second book.

And then you realize others things could be brought up. It’s like opening a can of worms when you write.

As I mentioned in my post about writing about vampires, world building is so much fun. But at times, it can be too much fun, and you might lose direction. That was a problem I had writing my sequel; I was having too much fun exploring the vampire world that I lost track of what I wanted the story to be about. When I revisited my work recently, I saw this and had to delete or re-arrange a few things.

Writing a story is so much fun. Writing a book is such a delight. But don’t try too hard. Don’t overdo anything. You can lose track and overwhelm yourself, your characters and the story altogether.

 

You’re All Going to Think I’m Crazy…

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authors, Being an Author, books, eBooks, indie authors, Indie books, Kindle, novels, On Writing, sequel, vampire books, vampire fiction, vampire novels, vampire trilogy, vampires, writing

Seriously, you are.

And I’m pretty sure you know what I am talking about.

It had been on my mind for a little while, and took a good butt kicking to get the drive going again. But I am glad that engine is roaring once more, and I doubt I am going to look back.

I am once again working on the sequel to The Dark Proposal.

Yeah. I’m certain some of you are rolling your eyes now.

After stopping, restarting and stopping again, I am giving it another go. And this time I am going to go all the way with it.

The last time I stopped was, as I explained, mainly for financial reasons. As much as I wanted to keep working on the sequel, I was concerned about how expensive it is to self-publish. But after doing a little research, I found it is not that unusual for writers to do crowd-source funding for their work. And that is what I plan to do. By the time I am done with the first draft of this book, I will start a campaign to raise money to get my book edited, get the cover made, and a few other promotional things to get the word out about it. But that won’t be until the fall, perhaps.

Some of you might be thinking that I am struggling with the main character, Claire McCormick, because I portrayed her as insecure, naive and kind of foolish, which is not easy to follow-up to in the sequel. While my intention was never to make her a strong, kick-ass female, I am finding ways to develop her strengths as well as have her face her weaknesses. Claire’s story is about personal responsibility, which ties in with the vampires’ story.

Some of you may also be wondering about my other WIP, “The Cats”. That I am setting aside until I complete my vampire trilogy. I may work on it from time to time, but my priority is my vampire stories, so once I complete them, then I’ll continue on with “The Cats”.

Yeah, being an author can be a mindboggling thing. You have to weigh-in writing what you want versus what makes since business-wise. After all, writing books is a business, whether you self-publish or go the traditional route. Money talks, and you have consider how you’re going to spend your money, or obtain the funds, to get your work out to the world. But sometimes passion talks to, and if it’s in your gut to write something, or finish something, than there are times when you have to give in. Besides, going with your gut works all the time.

So, without any further ado – onward with the sequel to The Dark Proposal.

BTW, I’ve already given it a working title: “A Light in the Darkness”.

The Theme of My Female Characters

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authors, books, evil characters, female characters, feminism, feminist, main characters, novelists, novels, personalities, strong women, writers, writing

As I work on my WIP “The Cats”, I notice that I seem to be repeating a familiar characterization of my main character, which happens to be female. Instead of writing a kick-ass, strong female, I’ve made mine, once again, timid and unable to fully stand-up for herself. Am I starting a trend in my stories?

It seems as if the best liked female characters, especially those that are the main characters, are tough and take no crap from anyone. But the main characters in my two books – “The Dark Proposal” and the WIP, “The Cats” – are the opposite. Granted, with my current project, the main character has to be because she is bullied. Bullied people aren’t usually strong, confident people anyway. The same goes for some people who get into abusive relationships, like Claire did in “The Dark Proposal”. I also have some story ideas where the female character is either timid or troubled. Very few of my story ideas have a strong, tough female character.

What does this mean? Am I against strong women?

Image via Pixabay

Far from it. As I once mentioned before when I discussed this topic, I prefer a kind of character who’s like a phoenix rising from the ashes. Personally, I find kick-ass, strong characters to be very boring. Especially since, in the case of the female character, they are almost perfect and not complex enough. It seems like female characters are not allowed to be complex, with strengths and weaknesses like all other human beings. Male characters are allowed to be flawed, but not females.

I also have story ideas where the female character is done right evil and does terrible things. Does that make me an anti-feminist? Again, far from it! I just believe in capturing the human race as it is. Women can be awful just like men, or be spineless as anyone else. That doesn’t mean that I am against women being strong or good. I just know from life’s experiences that women can be weak or evil, just like men.

I’m aware that many readers prefer strong characters, especially when it comes to women. I know that means I may lose readers or not have a huge bestseller if I stick to my formula for female characters. Hey, I may not even get a book deal with a major publisher that way. But I truly believe writers should write what is in their heart’s desire, rather than what is popular. I’m also someone who cannot write what is in my system, so I cannot write something that is trendy or would be a worthy bestseller. It just wouldn’t come natural, and I would be bored writing the story.

So, writing not-so-strong female characters looks to be the norm for me. Maybe that would be the theme for my characters during my authorship, as in, it would be something I would be known for. And I like that 🙂

 

 

Happy 2017! My Latest Updates

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am writing, authors, black cats, books, bullies, bullying, cats, Happy 2017, Happy New Year, social issues, writers, writing, YA books

Happy New Year everyone!

I know,  it’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. I hope to keep up with blogging, but life calls sometimes. Being an adjunct professor, tutor and freelance reporter/writer does take up a lot of time. I know, lame excuses, but I honestly have been overwhelmed this past month.

Even so, I have been able to do some writing. I was able to finish the first draft of my first chapter to my new WIP. I am now moving on to the second chapter. I cannot predict when I will finish this WIP, but the main thing is not to rush anything. Rush writing a book, and you get a lousy book. I’m sure we’ve all read books where the author wrote something too quickly, only to produce a not-so-great book.

Anyway, I am just glad I completed the first chapter and now moving deeper into the book.

Oh, did I tell you what my WIP is?

Image via Pixabay

I did briefly touch on it in my last blog post. It is about a high school girl who is mercilessly bullied by her peers. She has no friends and her family is unsupportive. But things changed when she starts to notice black cats turning up on her way home from school, or sitting on her back patio.

I don’t want to give too much away, but the working title of this book is, “The Cats”. Maybe it will change, maybe it won’t. Right now, my focus is on writing the story.

The story will explore bullying and social structures. In other words, what makes a someone a target for bullying? Why do some get bullied and others don’t? Why do mean people – in this case, mean teens – get to be popular, while the nicer kids are scorned? I’m sure it is a question everyone wonders, and I hope to successfully explore that.

And don’t worry, the main character of this story has a happy ending 🙂

I’ll continue to blog twice a month: every 1st and 15th of the month. I’ll update on my writing progress, discuss bullying and black cats. I’ll talk about the inspiration behind “The Cats”, and why specifically chose black cats to be the stars of my book.

I’ll also talk about writing in general, publishing, TV shows, books I’ll be reading. And now and then, I’ll write about my old baby, “The Dark Proposal”. I have some plans about this book, which I hope to tell you all either later this month, or early in February.

Either way, I am still here and I’m here to stay!

Choosing a Sequel’s Title…Plus an Excerpt!

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authors, blood, book excerpts, books, Indie books, novel, novels, On Writing, The Dark Proposal, The End of Eternity, vampire, vampire book, vampire books, vampire fiction, vampires, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, writing a story

Yesterday marked the four year anniversary that I self-published The Dark Proposal. Since then, I’ve been taking my sweet time writing its sequel. It’s been a long road working on it, with a lot of doubt mixed in. But I’m happy to say that I’m finally getting somewhere with it, and even have a title in mind!

Actually, I have two in mind. I am split between the two prospective titles, because they both represent the story.

One of them is, Blood Ties, which illustrates how torn Claire is between the vampire world and the human world. She now has vampire blood in her, yet she is trying to hold on to her humanity. As the vampire world becomes more and more troubled, where would her loyalties lie?

The other is Between Light and Dark, which also illustrates how torn Claire is. But in this case, she is also haunted by the mistakes she made that led her to become a vampire and is seeking some hope, hence the light. Furthermore, this title goes hand in hand with its predecessor – light, dark.

The more I write, the more I will figure out the title. Who knows, I might come up with something totally different.

In the meantime, check out this excerpt! Enjoy!

She grabbed her bathrobe, and went to the bathroom. She first started a shower, but switched to the bath once she realized Daniel would want to know why she was doing that. She was a vampire, no need to cleanse herself of anything, including him. So, her bubble baths would have to do. This was something she had begun doing since returning from Paris, and was one of the rare freedoms Daniel allowed for her. These baths weren’t just moments of indulgence for her. They made her feel clean, physically and mentally.

As she stripped off her bathrobe, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Did she recognize that person looking back at her? That person was a young woman with eyes that seemed as dead as the body she inhabited. Did she know she was staring back at herself?

Repulsion rose again and Claire had to calm down before she smashed the mirror. She let the tidal wave come, and it poured out in silent sobs. The blood tears came and flooded down her face onto the pristine sink. She didn’t care if the tears were really the blood of her victims or not. She just wanted a release.

After a few moments, she gathered herself enough to step into the tub. As she lied in the rosewood scented bubbles, the tears flowed more and she even choked a bit on her sobs. She made sure she did this quietly enough with the faucet running and the shower doors shut, so Daniel’s sharp hearing wouldn’t alert him. Luckily, he probably wasn’t even thinking about her right then.

Tilting her head back against the tub, Claire sighed and shook her head to herself. Her friends and family had no idea what she had become. She had rarely spoke to them since moving in with Daniel. The last time she spoke to her mother was on the phone two weeks ago. It was to wish her a happy birthday while explaining that she was too busy to visit. Her mother sounded frustrated, as she lately had been. But Claire also heard something else: helplessness. Her family had no clue on what was going on with her. It had to be agony for them to be lost like this. But if they ever found out, that agony would be replaced by outrage. She had put them in danger and she was now a monster. That would be it.

The same reaction would come from her two former best friends. Samantha would sound off obscenities while jabbing a finger at her, and Monica would storm off without saying a word. Claire would be left with only to turn to the vampire world she despised.

And she had to accept being a vampire.

She closed her eyes as a sob shook her. There was no way out of this. She had to be a vampire. She had to accept and live what she was now. No use in trying to maintain her humanity. Daniel was painfully right.

Claire’s body tightened. She could still feel him inside of her, using her like a masturbation device.

And she was attached to him for eternity. No matter what, he would be a big part of her life. The mere thought sickened her right to the bone, and she wanted to vomit.

A single blood tear rolled down her face, and she roughly brushed it away. Opening her eyes, she saw the bubbles and the water were tainted with blood. Blood from her tears.

Stunned, Claire stared at the bubbles and water around her. The blood was like ink, with its redness swirling around in the water, or relaxing to dye it faint red. Some of that inky crimson hue was caught in the bubbles. A large one rested near her left knee and it had that thick redness inside. It looked trapped, stuck in endless whirling, with no way of getting out, unless the bubble would burst.

Claire blinked a few times to rid herself of the shock. Even her cherished baths were blood stained. Her life was now bound by blood. Blood would be everywhere for her. Her very existence will be consumed by blood, and she will consume it, too. Blood and her were forever entwined. There was no more room for denial.

She gritted her teeth. There was no way she was going to live her life like that. She was so much better than this. She was not the sadistic killer Daniel wanted her to believe. She was not going to relish in human blood, no matter how much her new nature insisted. She was not going to embrace her vampire self.

Claire unplugged the drainer and stood to turn on the shower. Using her supernatural speed, she rinsed herself off of the ugly bubbles and water. Not only didn’t she want Daniel to hear the shower and get curious, but she also wanted to be rid of the redness as soon as she could. Claire’s anger began to crash down her regret and gain more steam. She was angry at Daniel and herself, and that anger was getting stronger with each rough stroke of her skin.

Once relieved of the bloody filth, she turned off the faucet. Glancing down at the floor of the tub, she saw the remaining bubbles and water were not fully rid of their redness. Worse, the tub’s porcelain now had a faint pink hue and might need some cleaning to be white again.

An ache suddenly came from her upper arms and torso. When she looked, she saw she had scratched herself while rubbing her skin in super-quick speed. Thin lines of blood had formed on her arms, stomach and chest.

Claire’s anger disappeared as quickly as the water going down the drain.

Letting out a sigh, she hung her head.

She was unsure of what to do that very minute, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year…

The only thing she was certain about was to lower herself onto the floor of the tub, pull her knees up, bury her forehead on them, and lose herself in her thoughts.

Blood had bound her to this world is more ways than one. She didn’t want either, but had no other choice. Only she didn’t want to follow through on that choice.

But what else could she do? There was no way out of this. It was permanent, and likely eternal, whatever that meant. She would never again be human, no matter how much she wished she still was.

All she could really do was get used to it.

But how?

 

 

 

Choosing the Name for My Vampire Trilogy

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authors, book series, book trilogy, books, crime, crime scene, indie writers, modern technology, social media, technology, The Dark Proposal, The End of Eternity, Trilogy, vampire books, vampire trilogy, vampires, writers, writing

Happy End of Summer, everyone!

Yes, isn’t sad that summer is over? For me, it went by too fast and I barely had time to enjoy it. But unfortunately, this year’s summer was far too hot and humid, so that experience has me looking forward to the much cooler fall. Seriously, some seasons aren’t worth getting ill over.

In the meantime, I am still working on my sequel. It is a long and hard journey, mainly because of my crazy schedule that has me working hard in an expensive city. But I am making headway, and I believe by this time next year – or maybe sooner – I will be celebrating its release, five years after the first book, The Dark Proposal, was published.

I know, it’s a long time to go between releasing books in a series. In this case, I am writing a trilogy which is quite ambitious and pretty far fetched for someone who has a busy schedule. But I am determined to keep my word and keep on writing. I know I am pulling a George R R Martin here, but it is what it is. I am not a full time writer and it will be eons before I reach that point. I do what I can and I hope the results will be at least descent.

Later this month, I will be revealing the two possible names for my sequel. I’m split on the two, but I’ll reveal them anyway to mark the 4-year anniversary of The Dark Proposal’s release. But before I do that, I want to discuss the name of my books’ trilogy.

I am calling my trilogy The End of Eternity. It may seem odd that I am not calling my books The Dark Proposal trilogy. After all, many books and movies go by the first name of their series. They include The Twilight Series or the Star Wars trilogy. But I see The End of Eternity as fitting, and my apologies if it seems like I am giving away the story.

Image via Pixabay

When I started writing The Dark Proposal, I not only was exploring abusive relationships, but I was also asking the question: how could vampires survive today with so much technology and surveillance? I would imagine it would be far from easy and would be a problem unlike any other for vampires. I would imagine through the centuries, vampires would have dealt with the witch hunts, the Inquisition and other atrocities due to superstition and fear. But crime scene technology, social media, surveillance, and other modern technology would make it difficult for a vampire to get by. It’d be like the supernatural versus science. Who wins?

I originally wrote a story about all of this, but struggled with it because the characters were boring and no real backstory to them, no matter how hard I tried. Writing about Claire and Daniel’s relationship help add some color to the technology vs. vampire issue nicely.

So, The End of Eternity trilogy will answer the question of modern technology vs. vampire, along with what would happen if a young woman found herself in a relationship with a man who turned out to a murderous vampire. See, that’s the fun thing about vampires. There are so many issues and stories to explore with them. The possibilities are endless, and I think there are many good stories still waiting to be written about vampires. Maybe mine will set off a trend!

So, my trilogy is called The End of Eternity. 🙂

Writing and Editing at the Same Time

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authors, craft of writing, edit, editing, editor, edits, novelists, the writing process, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, Writing tips

Some say when you write a novel, you should write first and save the editing for later. After all, if you do both, you’ll become distracted from the real goal of finishing the story’s first draft.

Well, I happen to be one of those people who edits as she writes. Meaning, I don’t save the editing for after I am through with the first draft; it is my priority alongside my writing.

Image by Nic McPhee via Flickr

Usually what I do before I write is that I read over the previous scene or two. Often I do this in order to get a feel for what is going on, so I could get into the ‘mode’, if you will. As I read over the scene, or scenes, I notice grammar or spelling errors. I also notice wordy paragraphs, redundant sentences, and things not well explained. So I edit these parts instead of saving them for later. I believe it is best to polish your work while you are creating it.

To best illustrate this, think of a sculptor. As the sculptor chips or carves away, some leftover pieces of the clay or stone remain on the artwork. This could be dust or pieces not yet brushed away. A sculptor has to brush away those pieces in order to continue with its work.

In other words, when I write, I edit in order to move on. The previous step – in this case, a previous scene – needs to be sharpened as much as possible before I move on. Of course, the actual sharpening comes much later, but I am all for sharpening all the way. It is a way of perfecting your work, and possibly making the editing easier in the end. It is also a good warm-up for the writing you are about to do.

How about you? What is your take on editing as a novelist writes? Do you support it or believe it hinders a writer rather than helps? What is your method of writing and editing?

Fire away!