Here is part two on my look back on what I’ve learned since self-publishing my book one year ago this. The first installment can be found here.
Even though I am proud and happy that I wrote, completed and self-published a book, I tend to wish I had done things a bit differently. No, I have no regrets self-publishing because it was something I wanted to try. I also have no regrets about the story that I wrote because it was something I felt was worth telling.
But I really wonder if I didn’t approach everything correctly. When I began working on “The Dark Proposal”, a temp job had ended and I was one of the millions who was unemployed. It’s devastating to be in that position, because it is as if your life is at a total stand still and the future is unknown. You may a get a job tomorrow, you may get one in one year. The uncertainty can weigh heavily on a lot of people.
At this time, I decided to be serious about writing and publishing a book. I had dreamed of doing so since I was a young kid, but I put it off to concentrate on school and my first real world job. Now my life was in limbo, and I wanted something to happen in my life. The uncertainty of my future was terrible. Besides, I had the time and energy to devote myself to this project, so why not?
It took me about six months to write “The Dark Proposal”. I began during NaNoWriMo in November 2011, dabbled in it during December, but really got into the story by mid-January. I was done by mid-April. It was exciting to write a novel for real. Before I used to write stories for fun. I would say those writings would become actual books, but this time, I truly committed to completing and publishing a book.
I was delighted with what I created, and I still am. However, there are times when I look over my work, and say to myself, “Hmm, maybe I could’ve written this differently”. I mean, I probably should’ve thought through a few scenes and a few characters better. But since I am working on the sequel to “The Dark Proposal”, I should be able to fix what I can and explain things better.
I think the questions on my mind for my anniversary is that, did I allow my need to be productive in my life prevent me from doing a better job? Was I really ready to write a book? Was my book really ready to be released to the world? I am a perfectionist to the point of insanity, so maybe I am looking from the wrong angle.
Hey, granted, I did had a good journey. I did learn a lot about writing as I wrote my first book. Some I wished I had learned sooner, but others I am glad I took note of. It was an experience that I’m glad I went through and it made me a better writer, which I hope I can show in future works. Fortunately, I will know then that it is better to slow down and not be so worried on an uncertain future, and then you can produce better work.
But please take it from me: have no regrets about your learning process. It’s worth it 🙂