You’re All Going to Think I’m Crazy…

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authors, Being an Author, books, eBooks, indie authors, Indie books, Kindle, novels, On Writing, sequel, vampire books, vampire fiction, vampire novels, vampire trilogy, vampires, writing

Seriously, you are.

And I’m pretty sure you know what I am talking about.

It had been on my mind for a little while, and took a good butt kicking to get the drive going again. But I am glad that engine is roaring once more, and I doubt I am going to look back.

I am once again working on the sequel to The Dark Proposal.

Yeah. I’m certain some of you are rolling your eyes now.

After stopping, restarting and stopping again, I am giving it another go. And this time I am going to go all the way with it.

The last time I stopped was, as I explained, mainly for financial reasons. As much as I wanted to keep working on the sequel, I was concerned about how expensive it is to self-publish. But after doing a little research, I found it is not that unusual for writers to do crowd-source funding for their work. And that is what I plan to do. By the time I am done with the first draft of this book, I will start a campaign to raise money to get my book edited, get the cover made, and a few other promotional things to get the word out about it. But that won’t be until the fall, perhaps.

Some of you might be thinking that I am struggling with the main character, Claire McCormick, because I portrayed her as insecure, naive and kind of foolish, which is not easy to follow-up to in the sequel. While my intention was never to make her a strong, kick-ass female, I am finding ways to develop her strengths as well as have her face her weaknesses. Claire’s story is about personal responsibility, which ties in with the vampires’ story.

Some of you may also be wondering about my other WIP, “The Cats”. That I am setting aside until I complete my vampire trilogy. I may work on it from time to time, but my priority is my vampire stories, so once I complete them, then I’ll continue on with “The Cats”.

Yeah, being an author can be a mindboggling thing. You have to weigh-in writing what you want versus what makes since business-wise. After all, writing books is a business, whether you self-publish or go the traditional route. Money talks, and you have consider how you’re going to spend your money, or obtain the funds, to get your work out to the world. But sometimes passion talks to, and if it’s in your gut to write something, or finish something, than there are times when you have to give in. Besides, going with your gut works all the time.

So, without any further ado – onward with the sequel to The Dark Proposal.

BTW, I’ve already given it a working title: “A Light in the Darkness”.

Pause, Reflect, Rewind…and Start Again

I know its been a while since I posted here. I still intend to post twice a month for the time being. But I also intend to do something different with my authorship.

In September, when I posted my two posts on the sequel to The Dark Proposal, I felt the surge of doubt rise once again. During this whole year of writing the sequel to my vampire novel, I had a wild ride and enjoyed very much creating the vampire world, and delving into the characters that made up that world. I also was anxious over what would become of Claire as she found herself trapped in a world she never wanted to be in.

But at the same time, I had doubts. Not over the story and the direction it was going toward. But doubts over the book’s future. In other words, self-publishing. I had self-published The Dark Proposal when I released it four years ago. That means I used my own money to pay for an editor to make sure everything was grammatically OK, and all-right story-wise. I also used my own money to pay for a graphic designer to create that beautiful cover, as well as money to pay blog tours and advertisers to get the word out about my book. It was all out of my pocket. That’s what self-publishing is about.

But that was four years ago. This time around, I was asking myself if I really wanted to self-publish again.

Honestly, there’s no other way to get the sequel out. I had tried to get The Dark Proposal picked up by small publishers, but since it was not a big hit, it was not picked up. It doesn’t make much sense to self-publish one part of a series, and then use a small publishing house to release the others. It also simply does not work that way.

Realizing the daunting task of having to spend money to get my book out, I began to ask myself what I really wanted this time around. That’s when small epiphanies came forward.

And here they are:

SELF-PUBLISHING ISN’T THE BEST OPTION:
When I self-published four years ago, I was not as fiscally wise as I am now. Looking back, I can’t help but think I could’ve used that money for other things. Sure, it takes money to make money, and I was really gung-ho for releasing my first book. But now that I am older and have been on my own in the expensive city of New York for over three years, I see that money is not something to be fickle about. Even if you are investing it to start a business (because that is what self-publishing is: a business), you really have to ask yourself if it is worth it, no pun intended. Money needs to be spent as wisely as possible.

In case you are wondering, I invested nearly $1000 into The Dark Proposal – from the editing to the promotions. The editing was the most expensive part because you get what you pay for, and most editors wouldn’t work for peanuts. Imagine what else I could’ve done with that $1000? It could’ve gone to savings or retirement or a memorable vacation. The cost of living is high, especially in NYC. So  money cannot be thrown around like it will always be there.

But, at the time, I was gung-ho about The Dark Proposal. I loved it and wanted the whole world to see it. I still love it, and I am still proud of how I write a book and got it out to the world. And it will always be out for the world to read because I am never unpublishing it. It will always be there.

That being said…

I NO LONGER HAVE THE WILLPOWER TO WRITE MORE:
Again, don’t get me wrong. I love my characters and I still want to find out what happens to them. I want to explore their worlds more, their histories and their futures. Even though they are fictional, they are in a special place in my heart. Literally!

But I was a much different person when I wrote my book nearly five years ago. Back then, I was reeling from a series of bad relationships, and wanted to get the notion of abusive relationships out of my system. Writing The Dark Proposal was like a cathartic experience for me.

But now, the notion of abusive relationships are no longer in my system. I’ve had better dates and relationships since, and I’ve grown healthier and wiser. My self-esteem is much better. And I got my fears and rage out of my system when I completed The Dark Proposal. Now, four years later, I am not that same person and abuse is not something I want nor can explore anymore. I’ve healed. And that’s a good thing.

SO NOW WHAT DO I DO? NOW WHAT DO I WANT?
So I am fiscally unable to self-publish, and I no longer have the drive to write about abusive relationships. Now what do I do?

As much as I hate to give up on my sequel (again), it is best. It kinda sucks because I do adore my characters. But that is not to say I will never ever write The Dark Proposal’s sequel. Maybe someday when I have a few bucks to spare (like, when I’m a millionaire or so), I will self-publish the sequel. I’ll still work on it, but more out of love for my characters rather than a desperate need to get the sequel out. And I still want to find out what happens to Claire. She has a lot of potential for growth and being an amazing young woman. It will just take a long time for readers to find out.

Anyway, so what do I do now? Well, I have other story ideas that I am now taking notes on, scribbling scenes on, and even working on. I plan to publish my next book traditionally, either by a major publisher or a smaller one.

Which leads to my next ponder…

Should I use my real name for my next book?

Megan Cashman isn’t really my name. Cashman is another form of my mother’s maiden name. Megan is my first name, though. I originally chose to use a pseudonym in order to keep my fiction writing separate from my journalism (I used to work for a major newspaper, and now I freelance while also being an adjunct professor and tutor). After all, would I be taken seriously as a journalist if I wrote a book on vampires?

But now I am considering using my real name for all my future books, including the paranormal ones. I used to think I would use my pen name for the paranormal books, but use my birth name for the more historical and modern settings. However, I no longer care. I want my name on all my books. Because I have something to say, and if it comes in the form of a book on witches, dystopic societies or whatever, then so be it. There are plenty of journalists who write fiction. Among my favorite authors is Sarah Dunant. She goes back and forth between working for the BBC to writing historical fiction on the Italian Renaissance. As far as I know, she had not changed her name at all.

I get that branding is an important issue to consider. But as of now, I am leaning towards using my real name for my future books. I can’t predict what will come first: being a known journalist or a known author. Who knows? We can’t control or predict the future. Either way, one would benefit the other. And I think the two will go hand in hand, believe it or not.

So that is me going forward…

I will not stop with The Dark Proposal. I will continue to talk about it, though eventually, I will start chatting about my latest work (more about that later). I have plans to make it into an audiobook, and even revamp its book trailers.

But slowly and surely, I will start to talk about my upcoming work and what my plans would be as an author of fictional work. And I’ll start right here…

I have just begun work on what could be a YA novel. It is about a teenage girl who is mercilessly teased and bullied by just about everyone in high school. Things aren’t looking up, until she notices some black cats as she walks home…

More about that, as we go on 🙂

 

Choosing a Sequel’s Title…Plus an Excerpt!

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authors, blood, book excerpts, books, Indie books, novel, novels, On Writing, The Dark Proposal, The End of Eternity, vampire, vampire book, vampire books, vampire fiction, vampires, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, writing a story

Yesterday marked the four year anniversary that I self-published The Dark Proposal. Since then, I’ve been taking my sweet time writing its sequel. It’s been a long road working on it, with a lot of doubt mixed in. But I’m happy to say that I’m finally getting somewhere with it, and even have a title in mind!

Actually, I have two in mind. I am split between the two prospective titles, because they both represent the story.

One of them is, Blood Ties, which illustrates how torn Claire is between the vampire world and the human world. She now has vampire blood in her, yet she is trying to hold on to her humanity. As the vampire world becomes more and more troubled, where would her loyalties lie?

The other is Between Light and Dark, which also illustrates how torn Claire is. But in this case, she is also haunted by the mistakes she made that led her to become a vampire and is seeking some hope, hence the light. Furthermore, this title goes hand in hand with its predecessor – light, dark.

The more I write, the more I will figure out the title. Who knows, I might come up with something totally different.

In the meantime, check out this excerpt! Enjoy!

She grabbed her bathrobe, and went to the bathroom. She first started a shower, but switched to the bath once she realized Daniel would want to know why she was doing that. She was a vampire, no need to cleanse herself of anything, including him. So, her bubble baths would have to do. This was something she had begun doing since returning from Paris, and was one of the rare freedoms Daniel allowed for her. These baths weren’t just moments of indulgence for her. They made her feel clean, physically and mentally.

As she stripped off her bathrobe, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Did she recognize that person looking back at her? That person was a young woman with eyes that seemed as dead as the body she inhabited. Did she know she was staring back at herself?

Repulsion rose again and Claire had to calm down before she smashed the mirror. She let the tidal wave come, and it poured out in silent sobs. The blood tears came and flooded down her face onto the pristine sink. She didn’t care if the tears were really the blood of her victims or not. She just wanted a release.

After a few moments, she gathered herself enough to step into the tub. As she lied in the rosewood scented bubbles, the tears flowed more and she even choked a bit on her sobs. She made sure she did this quietly enough with the faucet running and the shower doors shut, so Daniel’s sharp hearing wouldn’t alert him. Luckily, he probably wasn’t even thinking about her right then.

Tilting her head back against the tub, Claire sighed and shook her head to herself. Her friends and family had no idea what she had become. She had rarely spoke to them since moving in with Daniel. The last time she spoke to her mother was on the phone two weeks ago. It was to wish her a happy birthday while explaining that she was too busy to visit. Her mother sounded frustrated, as she lately had been. But Claire also heard something else: helplessness. Her family had no clue on what was going on with her. It had to be agony for them to be lost like this. But if they ever found out, that agony would be replaced by outrage. She had put them in danger and she was now a monster. That would be it.

The same reaction would come from her two former best friends. Samantha would sound off obscenities while jabbing a finger at her, and Monica would storm off without saying a word. Claire would be left with only to turn to the vampire world she despised.

And she had to accept being a vampire.

She closed her eyes as a sob shook her. There was no way out of this. She had to be a vampire. She had to accept and live what she was now. No use in trying to maintain her humanity. Daniel was painfully right.

Claire’s body tightened. She could still feel him inside of her, using her like a masturbation device.

And she was attached to him for eternity. No matter what, he would be a big part of her life. The mere thought sickened her right to the bone, and she wanted to vomit.

A single blood tear rolled down her face, and she roughly brushed it away. Opening her eyes, she saw the bubbles and the water were tainted with blood. Blood from her tears.

Stunned, Claire stared at the bubbles and water around her. The blood was like ink, with its redness swirling around in the water, or relaxing to dye it faint red. Some of that inky crimson hue was caught in the bubbles. A large one rested near her left knee and it had that thick redness inside. It looked trapped, stuck in endless whirling, with no way of getting out, unless the bubble would burst.

Claire blinked a few times to rid herself of the shock. Even her cherished baths were blood stained. Her life was now bound by blood. Blood would be everywhere for her. Her very existence will be consumed by blood, and she will consume it, too. Blood and her were forever entwined. There was no more room for denial.

She gritted her teeth. There was no way she was going to live her life like that. She was so much better than this. She was not the sadistic killer Daniel wanted her to believe. She was not going to relish in human blood, no matter how much her new nature insisted. She was not going to embrace her vampire self.

Claire unplugged the drainer and stood to turn on the shower. Using her supernatural speed, she rinsed herself off of the ugly bubbles and water. Not only didn’t she want Daniel to hear the shower and get curious, but she also wanted to be rid of the redness as soon as she could. Claire’s anger began to crash down her regret and gain more steam. She was angry at Daniel and herself, and that anger was getting stronger with each rough stroke of her skin.

Once relieved of the bloody filth, she turned off the faucet. Glancing down at the floor of the tub, she saw the remaining bubbles and water were not fully rid of their redness. Worse, the tub’s porcelain now had a faint pink hue and might need some cleaning to be white again.

An ache suddenly came from her upper arms and torso. When she looked, she saw she had scratched herself while rubbing her skin in super-quick speed. Thin lines of blood had formed on her arms, stomach and chest.

Claire’s anger disappeared as quickly as the water going down the drain.

Letting out a sigh, she hung her head.

She was unsure of what to do that very minute, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year…

The only thing she was certain about was to lower herself onto the floor of the tub, pull her knees up, bury her forehead on them, and lose herself in her thoughts.

Blood had bound her to this world is more ways than one. She didn’t want either, but had no other choice. Only she didn’t want to follow through on that choice.

But what else could she do? There was no way out of this. It was permanent, and likely eternal, whatever that meant. She would never again be human, no matter how much she wished she still was.

All she could really do was get used to it.

But how?

 

 

 

Choosing the Name for My Vampire Trilogy

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authors, book series, book trilogy, books, crime, crime scene, indie writers, modern technology, social media, technology, The Dark Proposal, The End of Eternity, Trilogy, vampire books, vampire trilogy, vampires, writers, writing

Happy End of Summer, everyone!

Yes, isn’t sad that summer is over? For me, it went by too fast and I barely had time to enjoy it. But unfortunately, this year’s summer was far too hot and humid, so that experience has me looking forward to the much cooler fall. Seriously, some seasons aren’t worth getting ill over.

In the meantime, I am still working on my sequel. It is a long and hard journey, mainly because of my crazy schedule that has me working hard in an expensive city. But I am making headway, and I believe by this time next year – or maybe sooner – I will be celebrating its release, five years after the first book, The Dark Proposal, was published.

I know, it’s a long time to go between releasing books in a series. In this case, I am writing a trilogy which is quite ambitious and pretty far fetched for someone who has a busy schedule. But I am determined to keep my word and keep on writing. I know I am pulling a George R R Martin here, but it is what it is. I am not a full time writer and it will be eons before I reach that point. I do what I can and I hope the results will be at least descent.

Later this month, I will be revealing the two possible names for my sequel. I’m split on the two, but I’ll reveal them anyway to mark the 4-year anniversary of The Dark Proposal’s release. But before I do that, I want to discuss the name of my books’ trilogy.

I am calling my trilogy The End of Eternity. It may seem odd that I am not calling my books The Dark Proposal trilogy. After all, many books and movies go by the first name of their series. They include The Twilight Series or the Star Wars trilogy. But I see The End of Eternity as fitting, and my apologies if it seems like I am giving away the story.

Image via Pixabay

When I started writing The Dark Proposal, I not only was exploring abusive relationships, but I was also asking the question: how could vampires survive today with so much technology and surveillance? I would imagine it would be far from easy and would be a problem unlike any other for vampires. I would imagine through the centuries, vampires would have dealt with the witch hunts, the Inquisition and other atrocities due to superstition and fear. But crime scene technology, social media, surveillance, and other modern technology would make it difficult for a vampire to get by. It’d be like the supernatural versus science. Who wins?

I originally wrote a story about all of this, but struggled with it because the characters were boring and no real backstory to them, no matter how hard I tried. Writing about Claire and Daniel’s relationship help add some color to the technology vs. vampire issue nicely.

So, The End of Eternity trilogy will answer the question of modern technology vs. vampire, along with what would happen if a young woman found herself in a relationship with a man who turned out to a murderous vampire. See, that’s the fun thing about vampires. There are so many issues and stories to explore with them. The possibilities are endless, and I think there are many good stories still waiting to be written about vampires. Maybe mine will set off a trend!

So, my trilogy is called The End of Eternity. 🙂

Writing the Theme of Your Story

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art of writing, authors, character arc, character development, craft of writing, creative writing, story arc, story development, story theme, theme, themes, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, writing a story

Themes are a big part of a story, any story – especially the good ones. They’re as important as, say, character arcs, plot development and so on. They’re the heart and soul of the story.

As author K.M. Weiland explained on her website:

Why are you writing this story? Why are you writing about these characters? What is it about their journey that has drawn your heart? What is the core of the tale? Justice, mercy, love, revenge, self-discovery? Whatever it is that’s moving the characters is what’s also moving your story. That’s your theme.

Supposedly, theme cannot be planned or forced, but instead come naturally. Theme appears in the story as you write your arcs and developments. It blossoms on its own, an echo of your subconscious. It is the fuel for your story. It is the reason why a writer writes in the first place.

Anne Rice wrote Interview with the Vampire to explore death, mortality and losing God. The Kite Runner is look at the complicated relationship between fathers and sons. Love in the Time of Cholera‘s theme is love in all its variations.

So, why did I write The Dark Proposal? And why am I writing its sequel?

The reason why I wrote my first book is because I wanted to explore abusive relationships. Having been in difficult ones – though no where near as Claire did with Daniel – I felt like I needed a release. I also wanted to write a vampire story where the vampires were once again evil and deadly – the exact opposite of what was popular four years ago.

But did I succeed with theme? What was the theme of my story?

Chuck Wendig describes theme on his blog as:

Every story’s trying to say something. It’s trying to beam an idea, a message, into the minds of the readers. In this way, every story is an argument. It’s the writer making a case. It’s the writer saying, “All of life is suffering.” Or, “Man will be undone by his prideful reach.” Or “Love blows.” Or, “If you dance with the Devil Wombat, you get cornholed by the Devil Wombat.” This argument is the story’s theme.

A friend of mine says the central idea of The Dark Proposal was “be careful what you wish for”. He explains that Claire so wanted to have a rich lifestyle, that she was blind to Daniel’s abusive ways, and then later, used it as escapism for the vampire life she was about to enter. That’s one way to look at the argument.

Image via Pixabay

I have grown so much as a writer during the four years since I wrote my first book. Today, I am focused on going deep with my stories and being more honest with myself when I write. I don’t think I was very honest as a writer when I wrote The Dark Proposal. Part of me cringes when I admit that. But as one musician friend told me, if you do that, then it means you are growing as an artist.

Writing from the heart is not easy. You are literally exposing yourself as a human to hundreds, thousands and maybe even more to judge and tear apart. It is scary enough to produce a book that you poured your heart and soul into. And by that, I don’t mean every part of your mind. The best artworks come from the very essence of the person, their heart.

So as I seek to be more honest as a writer, what theme do I hope will come out of The Dark Proposal’s sequel? I know I cannot force it, but I really hope redemption and healing would be one or both. Actually, I hope it will be the theme for the whole trilogy (yes, my book was meant to be the first of three). I also like the whole “be careful what you wish for” theme will come into play. I’m sure there’s always more than one theme in a story, or different ways to figure out the theme.

Or rather, what kind of redemption and healing do my characters need in order to fuel that theme?

Claire needs to heal and be redeemed from her mistakes and naivete. Daniel needs to be redeemed from being so evil. There is room for redemption and healing for Hilde, the Five Brothers and even The Black Roses. Even Samantha and Monica need to heal. There’s a lot of pain in The Dark Proposal, and everyone has a lot of coming to terms to do.

Which raises another question: what kind of writer do I intend to be? Sure, I want to be one that goes deep with questions and the human experience. But will be the regular theme in my stories? Will there always be a re-occurring one? Who knows? But since themes come from the heart of the writer, maybe the themes of my stories will be similar, just written differently. Or not. It also depends on the perspective of the reader.

The key here is to keep on writing, and get more to the heart of what I’m trying to say, or express. But I obviously cannot force myself to expose my heart in a story, just like a theme cannot be forced.

I’ll let Chuck Wendig finish off the meaning of theme:

A writer can engineer the theme — building it into the work. Or a writer can unearth it — discovering its tendrils after the work is written.

 

The Real Richmond College

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colleges, creative writing, fiction, names, New York City, places, schools, Staten Island, The Dark Proposal, Wagner College

Many authors create fictitious names of businesses, entertainers, institutions and others in order to avoid using famous names without permission. It also helps not to use famous names of places, people, and things so it would not sound like an author is trying to misrepresent the like by the way they write about, whether intended or not.

I certainly did this when I created Richmond College in “The Dark Proposal”, the higher ed institution on Staten Island, where Claire graduated and worked part-time at, met her two friends, Samantha and Monica, and of course, met vampire Daniel Bertrand there. I clearly didn’t have the resources to use an actual college on Staten Island, nor did I want to ruffle any feathers. So I made up a name.

Well, to be honest, not really. Richmond College used to be an actual institution on Staten Island, starting in 1965. It merged with Staten Island Community College in 1976 to become the College of Staten Island, which these days is part of the City University of New York (CUNY). I chose this name for Claire’s school because I wanted something authentically Staten Island for my book, since I aim to bring attention to the borough where I was born and raised in.

Image via Wikimedia Commons

While also aiming to have something related to Staten Island, I chose an actual college on Staten Island as the setting for Richmond College. Meaning, in my mind, I used an actual campus. That college campus is that of Wagner College, until recently, the only school with dorms on the Island. I once taught ESL one summer at Wagner, and it is a very lovely campus, sitting atop of the highest part of Staten Island. Since I needed a college with dorms for “The Dark Proposal”, and in 2012, the year I wrote the book, Wagner was the only one with that, I chose its campus as the setting. Whenever I visualize Richmond College for my book, I picture Wagner College.

So, there you have it. The Real Richmond College(s).

2016 – New Year, New Updates!

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art of writing, authors, book trailers, books, eBooks, how to write, sequels, vampires, writer, writers, writing, writing a novel

Hello everyone!

I know its 17 days into the new year, but I haven’t been able to wish everyone a happy new year. So I’m taking that opportunity right now. I’ve been crazy busy this month so far with work and getting another job squared away, as well as taking steps to laying the foundations of what I hope – and expect – will be a productive year for me!

With that, I will now give some updates on where my life is now. I currently work as a part-time reporter for a local paper, and in a few weeks I will start teaching as an adjunct professor for English 101 classes at one of the public colleges here in New York. I am very thrilled by the developments in my professional life, and look forward to see them grow even more this year.

Along with those developments, I am eager to see my authorship restart and grow by leaps and bounds this year too. I recently completed book trailers for The Dark Proposal, and I am offering to do book trailers for other authors. I am excited by the prospects of helping other authors – particularly self-published authors – expand and meet their audiences in a variety of ways.

That being said, you’re probably wondering what is up with my long awaited sequel to my first book? Well, the good news is that I am still working on it. The bad news, my work stalled due to the holidays and my other commitments. But I’m finding ways to squeeze in time to write this second book, which is great because I really am excited by what the sequel has to offer. I’ve mentioned this in other posts, but I just want to reiterate that I am excited. I have to admit that I am nervous though, because I’m approaching the story of Claire and the vampires differently, even though the original story stays. I have grown so much as a person and as a writer that my approach is far from what it was a few years ago. It’s amazing how much I’ve developed since releasing The Dark Proposal over three years ago.

Anyway, I just want to say that I am still actively writing. My goal is to complete the first draft of this book by the end of summer. The sooner, the better, of course, and I know I might be compared to George R R Martin, author of the series that inspired the HBO show, Game of Thrones. But life comes first, that is the way it is.

But I will finish this story. I’m a passionate storyteller, and will always be. I can’t not tell a story, so the sequel to The Dark Proposal will be out someday. I haven’t forgotten any of you!

 

The Book Trailers for “The Dark Proposal”

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book trailers, books, eBooks, novels, vampire books, vampires, video, YouTube

At last, I finally made my book trailers for my book!

I know its been three years since I released “The Dark Proposal”, but I have been meaning to do a book trailer for it. So finally, I made not one, but two of them.

The first is what I call the teaser/cover reveal. It provides a simple summary of what the book is about:

The second is the fuller length, since it goes into more depth:

I got the photos through Creative Commons, mainly through Flickr. The haunting music, which I really love, come from Freesound. I used the programs Final Cut Pro 7, Motion, and my iPhone to do the voiceover.

I chose to do the voiceover rather than captions, because I believe hearing a voice grabs the audience more than simple words going across the screen. And yes, that is my voice 🙂

I had a lot of fun making these trailers, and I definitely look forward to making the ones for my sequel. If all goes well, I’ll be preparing to release it this time next year.

The Road to Redemption

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authors, books, eBooks, life, life is a journey, mistakes, novels, redeem, redemption, sequel, sequels, that's life, truth, vampire books, vampires, writers, writing, writing a novel

Redemption. What does the word conjure up when you think about it?

For me, as a spiritual person, it means to recover from past mistakes by undoing them through better deeds, better actions, better attitude, and everything better all around from what you did wrong – with what you did wrong fully in mind.

We all fall short, and we all make mistakes. And we all have to pay or fix those mistakes. But when it comes to redemption, to me at least, we redeem ourselves from major, life changing mistakes that take our life’s path in a totally different direction. A direction that we did not intend, yet were too blind by something to not realize that we were going to veer off course.

Image by Maria Morri via Flickr

I’ve been down that road, and there’s nothing quite like looking back and wondering why I took the road that took my life in a direction it should not have gone on.

The good news is, I’ve been getting back on track and fixing my life, and becoming someone who I was meant to be, rather than running away from my potential and talents. What I’ve learned is that there comes a point in life where you simply cannot doubt yourself anymore or else you’ll have more problems than you need. Plus, you never really grow. Since I value personal growth, I had to learn the hard way that insecurities are really limiting, and I had a choice to get over them or give them up if I wanted a better life.

So I made the choice to give them up, and now I’m setting on a more better path for myself. Too bad there are lots of consequences that I have to deal with, such as starting over again professionally, financial sacrifices and consequences. But I am more at peace with myself, and where my life is headed.

I hope for the same for my main character, Claire McCormick. Some of you may recall in the first book of my trilogy, she made a lot of mistakes that led her onto a path she couldn’t really get off of. Now she is stuck in a life she never wanted, but ended up on because of her flaws and naivete. Granted, she’s a young girl, just 22 years old and just out of college. Like many at that age, she thinks she can survive easily yet is wrought with insecurities. And she paid a heavy price for her actions.

The second book of my trilogy will focus on Claire’s redemption. She is not the same person she used to be. Aside from being a vampire, she’s been through a lot and is now more unsure of who she is and where to go in this life that she didn’t ask for. That uncertainty is ripe for either self-destruction or self-redemption. However Claire chooses her path determines not only her future, but the future of the vampires, which is growing increasingly insecure with modern technology.

Redemption can be fun. It can also be scary. It can be painful. It also can be relieving. Either way, I believe when one is committed to redemption, it is a journey filled with new beginning and painful endings, great reminders, and agonizing truths. But its a path no one can ever avoid, no matter how hard we try.

 

If “The Dark Proposal” Had a Theme Song…

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anguish, books, dark themes, eBooks, Evanescence, evil vampires, indie, indie authors, Indie books, korn, music, NA, New Adult, paranormal books, self-published books, songs, soundtrack, theme song, thoughtless, thriller books, vampires

Yesterday marked the three year anniversary of when I published “The Dark Proposal” on Amazon Kindle. Since then, it has sold or been downloaded for free just under 800 times on either Amazon or Smashwords. Even I still can’t believe it.

As I work on its sequel, I am being inspired by some songs that I feel capture the essence of the follow-up, which are motivating my writing. While I won’t reveal which songs these are just yet 😉  I will reveal one song I feel really captures “The Dark Proposal”.

So basically, if my first book were to ever have a single theme song, I feel it would be Evanescence’s cover of the Korn song, “Thoughtless”. Not only do the lyrics and metal sound do TDP justice, but I feel Amy Lee’s anguished voice echoes Claire McCormick’s pain and terror.

Behold: