Why Do I Write?

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am writing, author, Being an Author, paranormal books, PNR, vampire books, vampires, why write, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, writing fiction

Happy (belated) New Year everyone! Sorry I’ve been off the radar lately. I was overwhelmed with end-of-the-semester work last month, plus I had flu-like symptoms. Then came the holidays and all the craziness that comes with it.

But here I am, and I have a little update for you regarding my WIP, the sequel to “The Dark Proposal”, “Between Light and Dark”: I have about two or three more chapters left in my draft! Isn’t that exciting?! There’s been a lot of blood, sweat and tears with this book, so I am thrilled to have gotten so far with it. 

However, there have been times when I wondered why I was writing this story and putting so much effort into it. That led to me asking myself, ‘why do I write?’

Seriously, why do I tear myself apart over something like this?

Now, the first simple answer is, because I can’t not write.

Honestly, that is what drives me to some degree. I am constantly filled with story ideas and have been since I was a little girl. The slightest moment in life, song, TV show, movie, scene in a book, etc., can set off excitement in my brain as I think about a story idea I’ve had in my head since God knows when. Or it could give birth to a whole new story idea. And if I don’t write them down, I might actually burst. It actually feels that way.

OK, so that’s half the reason. That’s like the creative, spiritual-ish reason. But what is the more logical reason?

The logical reason would because I have something to say. When I wrote “The Dark Proposal”, I had something to say about abusive relationships and evil vampires. When I first set out to write “The Cats” (which I’ve set aside), I intended to address bullying. There are some things that need to be said and some things that need to be explored. That is the logical, more down-to-earth reason why I write.

And I plan to do a lot of writing this year. Once I finish “Between Light and Dark”, I am going to take a break from “The End of Eternity” trilogy, and go back to “The Cats”. I also intend to jump on the screenplay bandwagon, and work on a love story idea that has been nagging me for a while. And then I have other ideas for novels and screenplays.

So many ideas, so little time it seems.

But it is still January, and I have plenty of time to get these three writing projects off the ground. I fully plan to make writing stories my career someday. Hopefully, I’ll be able to do that, though it would quadruple the amount of blood, sweat and tears that I am currently experiencing. Writing a story is hard work, and there’s no easy formula to it. Sometimes I feel like I’m crazy for wanting to do all this.

But I also know that I can’t imagine doing anything else.

In other words, I didn’t choose to write – writing chose me. Frankly speaking, but it certainly feels like that.

So, getting back to my first reason – I can’t not write – no matter how often I want to give up, I know there’s no else in the world I’d rather do.

So be it.

Writing Tip: It is OK to Change Course

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authors, fiction, fiction writing, On Writing, spreadsheets, story outline, the craft of writing, writers, writing, writing a book, writing advice, writing fiction, Writing tips

Hey,

Sorry I’ve been off the radar for about a month. I was super busy with teaching and freelancing, and of course, writing. Despite my crazy schedule, I still find the time to write, even if it simple editing or a paragraph or two. I am determined to finish my second book, and am enjoying the process while I’m at it.

Photo by Craig Chew-Moulding on Flickr via Creative Commons

That is not to say there hasn’t been bumps in the road. No, I’m not talking about this one and that one. I’m talking about the struggle to write at times. Working on this project has not been a free-flowing experience, nor has it been easy and fun. There has been doubts and overanalyzing over which scene should go next, or whether a scene works at all, or should this argument happen or not, and so on. Writing is both an art and a science, I believe. The artistic part comes when the muse does all the work and there’s stream of consciousness while writing. The scientific comes when you step back and wonder whether everything is working out just fine.

Recently, I was having problems with some scenes and even entire chapters. I felt what I had written was boring and dull, and the story was not going where I wanted it to go. As you might recall, I created a spreadsheet to outline my WIP. I had outlined the entire book with a spreadsheet, and I was trying to stick to it as loyally as I could.

But this weekend, I realized it is OK to not stick to the course, and to go off course with the outline. Once I did, I had a grand time writing – putting in 1800 words in a couple of hours, and thoroughly excited about where my story is headed. I still hope to get back on course, in terms of my spreadsheet, but I think what I’ve written has spiced things up, so to speak (no, I’m not talking about a sex scene at this point).

So, here’s my latest writing tip: it is OK to change the course. Sometimes the muse knows just what she is doing.

 

The Song That Inspired the Sequel to “The Dark Proposal”

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authors, books, Evanescence, inspirations, muse, sequels, songs, vampire books, vampire fiction, vampires, writing, writing inspirations

This week will be five years since I self-published “The Dark Proposal”. It was the first book I’ve ever written, and I felt a great sense of accomplishment and excited as I sent my baby out into the real world.

Five years since, I have grown so much as a writer and person. It’s hard to recognize myself during that time, honestly. That is why it has taken so long to write the sequel to “The Dark Proposal”.

But I’m not going to ramble on why and how the sequel has been delayed. I’ve done that enough times on this blog.

So, I’m here to present one of the inspirations behind the sequel. A few years ago, I was contemplating whether or not I wanted to write the sequel. And then I heard the song, “Lost in Paradise” by Evanescence, and it blew me away. For a while, I could see Claire saying the words to the song to her friends, Samantha and Monica. Or I could see Hilde telling Claire those words. Or any of the vampires. After all, my vampire trilogy is about the vampire world being in trouble with modern technology and surveillance threatening their existence. And also, there is a wonder among the vampires if their own existence is worth it. After all, what are they truly living for?

But that’s for a later blog post. For now, enjoy this beautiful song, “Lost in Paradise” by Evanescence:

As Stephen King Said, The First Draft is Yours…

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audiences, authors, craft of writing, editing, how to write, readers, rewriting, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a story, writing advice

When you write a story, you’re telling yourself the story. When you rewrite, your main job is taking out all the things that are not the story.

Wise words from the Master himself.

As a writer, I’ve noticed there is a balance between writing for yourself and writing for your audience. It seems like it is a delicate balance because a writer wants to please his/herself but at the same time, the audience must be kept in mind. We all write for someone when we write, and that someone isn’t always ourselves.

Image by Sideways Sarah via Flickr

Who do we write for? Is there a specific person in mind? Is it a specific demographic? Group of people? When I wrote The Dark Proposal, it was for people who wanted vampires to be evil again. The abusive relationship part was for me, I admit. But I did have an audience in mind when I wrote my first book, and have one in mind for its follow-up, which I’ll get to in a future post.

But I agree with Stephen King that when we first write a novel, it is to be for ourselves. Or else, it wouldn’t be fun. Writing to please someone the first time around is exhausting and takes to fun out, I think. It is when the actual work of a story, the editing part, is when it is time to get serious about the story.

I believe editing is where we all get serious about our writing work. We become aware of the mistakes and the things that don’t make sense. We become aware of what our audience really thinks, or at least, what we think they think. We become aware that our work is going to be read by hundreds or thousands of people. We realize this is serious business here. Enough of fun stuff, let’s get serious here.

That doesn’t mean rewriting and editing can’t be fun. You may be relieved to get rid of a couple of sentences or a whole scene that doesn’t fit in with the rest of the story, once you read everything over again. And let’s face it, if we didn’t love writing, we wouldn’t mind the rewriting and editing parts. It’s part of the job, so to speak. And don’t we want our work to be as polished as possible?

Come to think of it, the first draft of a story is more than just for you. It’s a gift you give yourself. The final draft of the story is a gift to your readers.

Onward…

Another Reason Why I’ve Delayed My Sequel…

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authors, book sequels, books, depression, hell, job from hell, mental health, mental illness, sequels, vampires, writing, writing a book, writing a novel

Before I start, I just want to make a couple of announcements:

First off, I will be blogging every Friday for now on. This is to gain momentum for the sequel to my first book, which by the way, is coming along smoothly. I’ve recently finished the first draft to Chapter 7, and have begun Chapter 8. That means I am about halfway, or more, done with the first draft! If all goes well – and I think it will – I’ll have the book published by February 2018.

If I do, it would mean I let five and a half years go by between my first book and its sequel. That’s a long time for an author to take a break between books within a series. I’ve written a lot about my insecurities with writing this sequel, as well as financial reasons for not going forward with it. But I had other reasons for not working much on this book.

It all started when I first moved to Brooklyn in May 2013. From there, I got busy adjusting to life on my own, and job searching. I mentioned on this blog that my job hunt was taking away from my writing, but I had to do with what I had to do. Eventually, I did find a job in the spring of 2014. At first, I was delighted with my new job at this small arts school. But very quickly, I soon realized I was in the job from hell.

And I mean, hell. Everything you can think of that can go wrong at a job happened. For starters, it was a shady place with rumors of grant money being pocketed, parents not seeing their money going where it was supposed to go, embezzlement, you name it. The owners of the school were abusive – verbally, emotionally and psychologically. There was also harassment and slander going on. The turnover rate was very high, and there was always a wonder when the IRS would show up. I was there for 15 months before leaving, or rather, running away from the place. Soon after, I sued my former employer in small claims court for tax fraud. We settled out of court, with me getting everything I asked.

Those 15 months took a huge toll on me. Everyday I would come home miserable, angry or even totally depressed. The strain of working at an abusive workplace caused me to have a mental breakdown. It also caused me to not have the energy to do any kind of writing. I believe that if I had not taken that job, I would have finished my sequel by now, and it would’ve been released by now.

So, that was 15 months taken away from writing. Granted, I was starting to have doubts about whether I wanted to continue writing anything fictional anymore when I first began the job. I was going through some personal changes and self-discovery, and was realizing where else I could point my writing skills towards. It is important not to put your talents or skills into a single box, and to know that your talents and skills could be used for multiple things. Basically, it is not the end of the world if you do not write a book.

But I still like creating characters, writing stories, making up worlds. It may not be the sole purpose to my existence, but it is a part of it. I have learned that I have other talents and abilities to add color to my life, and I intend to use them for places that deserve them.

At the same time, it is important to not waste your time at a job, or relationship, or anything, that sucks the life out of you. Life is short, and you are precious human being. There’s no reason to waste your self-worth on someone or something that doesn’t respect you.

And if you want to create, paint, dance, act…whichever, it is important that your mind is in the right place. Creativity is like a plant: If it doesn’t get sun, it withers. Bad energy blocks creativity, and it makes it wither.

So, there you go. One of the many reasons why my sequel to The Dark Proposal has been delayed. I hope what I told you here will be of help to you!

Is A Writer’s Work Ever Done?

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am writing, authors, editing, James Joyce, novelists, Ray Bradbury, re-write, satisfaction, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel

As I work on the sequel to The Dark Proposal, I find myself writing and re-writing scenes or even entire chapters again and again. It is mainly because I am not satisfied enough with what I had written, so I re-write whatever I’ve done. I do this three or four times before I can say that I am satisfied with my work. Satisfied enough to move on to the next chapter (BTW, I’m up to Chapter 7 now!!!).

Which makes me wonder: is a writer’s work ever done?

Answer: Probably not.

Writers are often their worst critics. We always think there is a better word to describe a character or scene than the one we chose. We always think there are better words for our characters to use. We always think there is a better way to end a scene or chapter. There’s always the right words to use…and yet, we never seem to find them.

Famed science fiction writer Ray Bradbury was said to have put his away his work for a year, before re-reading and re-editing his WIP. James Joyce, the author of the classic novel, Ulysses, was said to have spent all day debating where to put a comma in his WIP.

Writers are never satisfied. There is always room for improvement. There is always something better to describe, explain or talk about. There is always a better word to use, or two or three. And with some stories, there are endless possibilities with the main character(s) that sometimes we wonder if we are covering all the necessary bases, and if we have to cover all of them at all.

Being a writer is frustrating.

And it is not only fiction writers, journalists, essayists, poets and songwriters who deal with this. Even college students writing their countless assigned essays are never completely satisfied with their work. When I discuss re-writing and editing one’s work with my students, I am amazed by how many admit to re-writing their essays even before they hand them in. They always say, there is always room for improvement.

Always room for improvement. So, if nothing is perfect, when does the room for improvement end? When does a writer say, enough is enough! When do we stop driving ourselves crazy?

For me, there is a level of satisfaction that comes with writing that makes me say, enough is enough. I could re-write a whole chapter ad infinitum. But it gets to the point where I cannot let my insecurities rule me like that and I have to say to myself, this chapter is good enough. I am satisfied enough with what I put down. Maybe not 100% satisfied with it, because that is starting to look like an impossibility. But 90% satisfied? 85%? Sure! I can live with that.

I may always want to improve on that chapter, and may just do so in the future before I actually publish my work. But there comes a point where I would need to stop, and say, enough is enough.

 

How Do You Choose a Story to Write?

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authors, indie writers, influences, inspiration, muse, muses, story inspirations, the art of writing, writers, writing

How does a writer decide which story they are going to work on? What makes them choose, out of all the ideas in their head, one specific one to work on and devote all their energy to?

Image via Flickr

From my perspective, it is all about timing. Sometimes there is something going on in the world that a writer has to respond to or interpret. Kind of like the 2011 novel, When She Woke by Hillary Jordan. That book is a take on the anti-abortion sentiment in the United States, which is relevant to many in recent years.

Or perhaps someone has something to say, such JRR Tolkien when he wrote The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Supposedly, he was inspired by the events of WWI, which he fought in, as well as his take on male friendships, which he supposedly felt was too fractured.

Or some writers pay attention to trends. A few years ago, BDSM erotica books were all the rage, thanks to the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy. At the same time, YA dystopian books were widely popular, and there were many different books of that genre.

Or quite simply, a writer is inspired by a muse, and they have to get that story out. No matter the trends, no matter what is going on in the world. There is something in their subconscious that is forcing words to get to paper, or a computer screen. Sometimes the muse chooses what book to write, not the author.

How about you? Who or what inspired you to write your most recent work?

When It Comes To Writing, Don’t Overdo It

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art of writing, authors, book sequels, novelists, On Writing, the craft of writing, the writing process, vampires, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, writing a story, writing advice

Writing a book teaches you a lot of things. You think you know, but you don’t know, and writing a book is quite an experience.

Writing a sequel is the same thing, only more. You continue to grow as a writer, while also learning tons about writing a follow-up.

Click here for original image on Jim Delorey’s website

One thing I am learning about writing a sequel is, don’t overdo it.

Heck, you shouldn’t overdo it when you write a first or stand-alone book.

But as I write my sequel, I realize there are times when I lose focus and I start to overdo it with my storytelling. Writing a sequel means picking up where you left off with the first book, and carrying on into another story or extending with the first book’s story. It is not as easy as it sounds. Especially when you realize there were some things that could’ve gone into the first book, and now you’re mentioning it in the second book.

And then you realize others things could be brought up. It’s like opening a can of worms when you write.

As I mentioned in my post about writing about vampires, world building is so much fun. But at times, it can be too much fun, and you might lose direction. That was a problem I had writing my sequel; I was having too much fun exploring the vampire world that I lost track of what I wanted the story to be about. When I revisited my work recently, I saw this and had to delete or re-arrange a few things.

Writing a story is so much fun. Writing a book is such a delight. But don’t try too hard. Don’t overdo anything. You can lose track and overwhelm yourself, your characters and the story altogether.

 

You’re All Going to Think I’m Crazy…

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authors, Being an Author, books, eBooks, indie authors, Indie books, Kindle, novels, On Writing, sequel, vampire books, vampire fiction, vampire novels, vampire trilogy, vampires, writing

Seriously, you are.

And I’m pretty sure you know what I am talking about.

It had been on my mind for a little while, and took a good butt kicking to get the drive going again. But I am glad that engine is roaring once more, and I doubt I am going to look back.

I am once again working on the sequel to The Dark Proposal.

Yeah. I’m certain some of you are rolling your eyes now.

After stopping, restarting and stopping again, I am giving it another go. And this time I am going to go all the way with it.

The last time I stopped was, as I explained, mainly for financial reasons. As much as I wanted to keep working on the sequel, I was concerned about how expensive it is to self-publish. But after doing a little research, I found it is not that unusual for writers to do crowd-source funding for their work. And that is what I plan to do. By the time I am done with the first draft of this book, I will start a campaign to raise money to get my book edited, get the cover made, and a few other promotional things to get the word out about it. But that won’t be until the fall, perhaps.

Some of you might be thinking that I am struggling with the main character, Claire McCormick, because I portrayed her as insecure, naive and kind of foolish, which is not easy to follow-up to in the sequel. While my intention was never to make her a strong, kick-ass female, I am finding ways to develop her strengths as well as have her face her weaknesses. Claire’s story is about personal responsibility, which ties in with the vampires’ story.

Some of you may also be wondering about my other WIP, “The Cats”. That I am setting aside until I complete my vampire trilogy. I may work on it from time to time, but my priority is my vampire stories, so once I complete them, then I’ll continue on with “The Cats”.

Yeah, being an author can be a mindboggling thing. You have to weigh-in writing what you want versus what makes since business-wise. After all, writing books is a business, whether you self-publish or go the traditional route. Money talks, and you have consider how you’re going to spend your money, or obtain the funds, to get your work out to the world. But sometimes passion talks to, and if it’s in your gut to write something, or finish something, than there are times when you have to give in. Besides, going with your gut works all the time.

So, without any further ado – onward with the sequel to The Dark Proposal.

BTW, I’ve already given it a working title: “A Light in the Darkness”.

The Theme of My Female Characters

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authors, books, evil characters, female characters, feminism, feminist, main characters, novelists, novels, personalities, strong women, writers, writing

As I work on my WIP “The Cats”, I notice that I seem to be repeating a familiar characterization of my main character, which happens to be female. Instead of writing a kick-ass, strong female, I’ve made mine, once again, timid and unable to fully stand-up for herself. Am I starting a trend in my stories?

It seems as if the best liked female characters, especially those that are the main characters, are tough and take no crap from anyone. But the main characters in my two books – “The Dark Proposal” and the WIP, “The Cats” – are the opposite. Granted, with my current project, the main character has to be because she is bullied. Bullied people aren’t usually strong, confident people anyway. The same goes for some people who get into abusive relationships, like Claire did in “The Dark Proposal”. I also have some story ideas where the female character is either timid or troubled. Very few of my story ideas have a strong, tough female character.

What does this mean? Am I against strong women?

Image via Pixabay

Far from it. As I once mentioned before when I discussed this topic, I prefer a kind of character who’s like a phoenix rising from the ashes. Personally, I find kick-ass, strong characters to be very boring. Especially since, in the case of the female character, they are almost perfect and not complex enough. It seems like female characters are not allowed to be complex, with strengths and weaknesses like all other human beings. Male characters are allowed to be flawed, but not females.

I also have story ideas where the female character is done right evil and does terrible things. Does that make me an anti-feminist? Again, far from it! I just believe in capturing the human race as it is. Women can be awful just like men, or be spineless as anyone else. That doesn’t mean that I am against women being strong or good. I just know from life’s experiences that women can be weak or evil, just like men.

I’m aware that many readers prefer strong characters, especially when it comes to women. I know that means I may lose readers or not have a huge bestseller if I stick to my formula for female characters. Hey, I may not even get a book deal with a major publisher that way. But I truly believe writers should write what is in their heart’s desire, rather than what is popular. I’m also someone who cannot write what is in my system, so I cannot write something that is trendy or would be a worthy bestseller. It just wouldn’t come natural, and I would be bored writing the story.

So, writing not-so-strong female characters looks to be the norm for me. Maybe that would be the theme for my characters during my authorship, as in, it would be something I would be known for. And I like that 🙂