Who is Your Audience?

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authors, book marketing, books, marketing, readers, reading, reading a book, reading books, writing a book, writing a novel, writing a story, writing advice

Whenever an author sits down and works on their WIP, there are many important aspects that go into the project. From knowing the beginning, middle and end, to character development, and an idea of what the theme might be, it is imperative to have a few things in mind when working on a book (or script, or play…).

One of these other must-haves is…who is your audience?

Meaning, who are you writing for?

Image via Flickr via Creative Commons. Photo by Sam Greenhalgh.

You’re not really writing for yourself when you work on a book. It may feel like it, especially since writing a book is a one-person project – at least, until an editor gets involved. But yes, being an author is a solo project. So that is why it may feel like you are writing the book for you. After all, it was you who came up with the story idea. It was you who found the perfect names for your characters. It was you who can foresee how this story would end. Sounds like you are your own audience, right?

Nope!

Whether you know it or not, you are writing for other people. And these people are the ones you’d like to read your book. You can’t say that your book is for everyone because it is not. Yes, anyone could read it, but not everyone is going to like it. You want readers to like your book, and not for the sake of your ego. When someone reads a book, they are on a journey created by you, the author. So, who do you want to go on the journey with you?

That is when you become aware that you have to have a target audience in mind when you set out to write a book. Is your book for men or women? Young or old? Those are the basics.

Then you have to consider what your book is about and its theme. That’s when you begin to narrow it down to who your audience is. Writing a dark thriller? Your audience are people who can stomach it. Writing a sexy romance? Your audience are women who enjoy such stories. Writing a sci-fi/fantasy? Your audience are probably are what some call “nerds” who consider “The Lord of the Rings” their favorite trilogy and movies.

Then comes your theme, what makes it unique and what stands out about it. Take my first book for example. A young woman tries to cope with her vampire boyfriend forcing her to become a vampire, or else. So, that means my target audience is mostly young and female, those who like vampire stories and prefer evil vampires over the softer ones, and may enjoy a thriller-type of story. There you go. That was my audience.

Now, that is not to say other people who are not on that list would not want to read your book. I’ve had male readers, those who aren’t really into thriller-type stories, or one that does not have a happy ending. Anyone can read your book, but not all will like it – although there is always room for surprises!

Come to think of it, learning and understanding who your audience is, is the first step towards marketing your book. And all authors – whether indie or traditional – must be aware of the marketing aspect of their books. Since selling book is a business, you have to know who your audience is as you write your book.

And you cannot create your audience or force it. It comes naturally at times, as naturally as you writing your story. Meaning, as natural as it was for your own story to form in your mind and then on paper or Scrivener, your audience will be as organic. There’s no controlling aspect to it. You cannot control who your audience is. All you can do is write what you feel is in your instincts, and your audience will take shape along with it.

Those are my two cents 🙂

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Why Do I Write?

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am writing, author, Being an Author, paranormal books, PNR, vampire books, vampires, why write, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, writing fiction

Happy (belated) New Year everyone! Sorry I’ve been off the radar lately. I was overwhelmed with end-of-the-semester work last month, plus I had flu-like symptoms. Then came the holidays and all the craziness that comes with it.

But here I am, and I have a little update for you regarding my WIP, the sequel to “The Dark Proposal”, “Between Light and Dark”: I have about two or three more chapters left in my draft! Isn’t that exciting?! There’s been a lot of blood, sweat and tears with this book, so I am thrilled to have gotten so far with it. 

However, there have been times when I wondered why I was writing this story and putting so much effort into it. That led to me asking myself, ‘why do I write?’

Seriously, why do I tear myself apart over something like this?

Now, the first simple answer is, because I can’t not write.

Honestly, that is what drives me to some degree. I am constantly filled with story ideas and have been since I was a little girl. The slightest moment in life, song, TV show, movie, scene in a book, etc., can set off excitement in my brain as I think about a story idea I’ve had in my head since God knows when. Or it could give birth to a whole new story idea. And if I don’t write them down, I might actually burst. It actually feels that way.

OK, so that’s half the reason. That’s like the creative, spiritual-ish reason. But what is the more logical reason?

The logical reason would because I have something to say. When I wrote “The Dark Proposal”, I had something to say about abusive relationships and evil vampires. When I first set out to write “The Cats” (which I’ve set aside), I intended to address bullying. There are some things that need to be said and some things that need to be explored. That is the logical, more down-to-earth reason why I write.

And I plan to do a lot of writing this year. Once I finish “Between Light and Dark”, I am going to take a break from “The End of Eternity” trilogy, and go back to “The Cats”. I also intend to jump on the screenplay bandwagon, and work on a love story idea that has been nagging me for a while. And then I have other ideas for novels and screenplays.

So many ideas, so little time it seems.

But it is still January, and I have plenty of time to get these three writing projects off the ground. I fully plan to make writing stories my career someday. Hopefully, I’ll be able to do that, though it would quadruple the amount of blood, sweat and tears that I am currently experiencing. Writing a story is hard work, and there’s no easy formula to it. Sometimes I feel like I’m crazy for wanting to do all this.

But I also know that I can’t imagine doing anything else.

In other words, I didn’t choose to write – writing chose me. Frankly speaking, but it certainly feels like that.

So, getting back to my first reason – I can’t not write – no matter how often I want to give up, I know there’s no else in the world I’d rather do.

So be it.

Writing Tip: It is OK to Change Course

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authors, fiction, fiction writing, On Writing, spreadsheets, story outline, the craft of writing, writers, writing, writing a book, writing advice, writing fiction, Writing tips

Hey,

Sorry I’ve been off the radar for about a month. I was super busy with teaching and freelancing, and of course, writing. Despite my crazy schedule, I still find the time to write, even if it simple editing or a paragraph or two. I am determined to finish my second book, and am enjoying the process while I’m at it.

Photo by Craig Chew-Moulding on Flickr via Creative Commons

That is not to say there hasn’t been bumps in the road. No, I’m not talking about this one and that one. I’m talking about the struggle to write at times. Working on this project has not been a free-flowing experience, nor has it been easy and fun. There has been doubts and overanalyzing over which scene should go next, or whether a scene works at all, or should this argument happen or not, and so on. Writing is both an art and a science, I believe. The artistic part comes when the muse does all the work and there’s stream of consciousness while writing. The scientific comes when you step back and wonder whether everything is working out just fine.

Recently, I was having problems with some scenes and even entire chapters. I felt what I had written was boring and dull, and the story was not going where I wanted it to go. As you might recall, I created a spreadsheet to outline my WIP. I had outlined the entire book with a spreadsheet, and I was trying to stick to it as loyally as I could.

But this weekend, I realized it is OK to not stick to the course, and to go off course with the outline. Once I did, I had a grand time writing – putting in 1800 words in a couple of hours, and thoroughly excited about where my story is headed. I still hope to get back on course, in terms of my spreadsheet, but I think what I’ve written has spiced things up, so to speak (no, I’m not talking about a sex scene at this point).

So, here’s my latest writing tip: it is OK to change the course. Sometimes the muse knows just what she is doing.

 

Scenes of Brutality: What Are We Thinking?

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art of writing, brutality, craft of writing, creative writing, Game of Thrones, graphic content, graphic scenes, Outlander, sadism, sadistic, writing a book, writing a story, writing fiction

Before I get started, I know I mentioned that I would be writing my weekly posts on Mondays. However, it looks like Tuesdays work better for my schedule. So for now on, expect posts from me on Tuesdays.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

So, I am currently watching the Starz series Outlander on Amazon. For those who do not know, it is about a 1940s Englishwoman, Claire Beauchamp, who is transported back two hundreds in 18th century Scotland. Since this is the 1740s, there’s a lot of brutality going on, especially with a captain of the English army in Scotland, “Black Jack” Randall, who tortures the Scottish people left and right. There’s even a scene where Claire’s husband, Jamie Fraser, is tortured and then raped by Randall.

Now, I didn’t read the books that this series is based on, but I understand that the show is closely based on the books written by Diana Gabaldon. If so, it makes me wonder why she would put in a scene where a man graphically rapes another man. Yes, there are a lot of male-on-female rapes, floggings and beatings in Outlander, but it is easy to brush them off as that was the time period back then. But that scene has been haunting me. I guess it is because I’m one of those who has grown attached to Claire and Jamie, and couldn’t tolerate Jamie being tortured that way. Yes, Claire was raped or almost raped herself, but the show didn’t graphically display that as much as Jamie.

It also haunts me because last week, I was working on my WIP, which picks up where Claire McCormick and Daniel Poncher are in the trilogy. I was writing feverishly and in a stream-of-consciousness way. As a result, I ended up writing a part where Daniel graphically rapes Claire. Yeah, I did that. I went there.

Now, there are other scenes when Daniel does that, but it is not as brutal and more of a coerced sex way. But when I wrote that part, I was so bothered and disturbed that I had done that, and I ended up deleting it. Watching that scene on Outlander helped me do so.

Which has me thinking about why we writers write such graphic scenes, and just what the hell are we thinking? When I wrote that scene in my WIP, I was rattled and wondered if I have a sadistic side of me somewhere deep in my sub-conscious. I have to admit part of me felt truly satisfied with that scene, and was disappointed when I deleted it. I am now considering adding it back in.

Is there something wrong with me? Do I love torturing my characters? Am I sadistic somehow?

Heck, it makes you wonder if someone like George R. R. Martin, the author of the books that would inspire the HBO series, Game of Thrones, is sadistic. I mean, all of his characters go through hell, and some get brutally raped or brutally murdered. It is enough to leave readers and viewers shaken.

So, what are we writers thinking? Are we cruel? Or just going along with the muses in our heads?

I think the bottom line is whether these brutal scenes are worth it for the entire story. If it does not add something to the whole story, however violent it is, then it is pointless – and even sadistic. Perhaps what should be more disturbing is how violent human nature is, and we writers are just representing and expressing that in our work. If human nature were not so cruel and barbaric itself, then maybe we would not write such things.

But what of the satisfaction that comes with writing those parts? I think the reason why part of me was satisfied with the now-deleted scene where Daniel rapes Claire is because it flowed so well, from one action to another and another. The part before Daniel attacks Claire had me excited because there was so much emotion and action going on. But once I wrote the rape part, I was like, ‘what have I done?”

Is it worth having in the story? I don’t know yet, I’m still debating. But one thing I’ve been learning while watching Outlander, and even other shows, is that writers aren’t really sadists. Human nature is, and so are our muses. We’re just writing what works for the story and the characters, and what is streaming out of our consciousness.

But it is also vital for us to wonder whether all the violence is gratuitous and even worth portraying at all.

 

Writing Tip: Always Give Your Character Something to Do

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creative writing, fiction writing, fictional characters, On Writing, the art of writing, the craft of writing, the writing process, writing a book, writing fiction, writing tip, Writing tips

Years ago, I took a fiction writing course where the instructor regularly gave tips on how to write an outstanding novel. Among those tips were, always give your character something to do.

If only I had remembered that recently.

Click here for original image on Jim Delorey’s website

As I was writing the follow-up to “The Dark Proposal” a couple of weeks ago, I was hit a brick wall. I was totally stuck on where to go and what to do next with the story. It was so frustrating because I had written scenes that I was proud of, and I was delighted with where the story was going. But then suddenly, it wasn’t going anywhere. I had hit writer’s block after doing so much with my WIP.

After a few days of editing, re-writing and deleting scenes that just weren’t working, I finally realized what was wrong: the story had become boring. Why though? Why right after such powerful scenes did it suddenly take a downturn. Was it because those scenes were hard to follow? After thinking it over, the memory of that instructor came back and realized what was wrong.

Claire was not doing anything.

Right after a few good scenes, the main character of my story was doing absolutely nothing. She was practically sitting around, moping and feeling sorry for herself. She was not doing any activity, any action, nothing. Just sitting there.

Was that boring or what?

So, I erased that scene and re-wrote it, giving Claire something to do. Then I was satisfied with it.

Now I understand why that writing instructor made an emphasis on giving a character something to do. Without any action or activity, a character is just sitting there. Does that sound fun? Interesting? Enticing? Heck, if I was bored with it, chances are, so would a reader.

So lesson learned and a tip from me: always give your character something to do. It gives momentum to the story, and it keeps it flowing. A novel should be rolling effortlessly, and any stalls means a stall in the storytelling. No one likes to be bored writing or reading. Then again, so doesn’t your character! Give them something to do. They’ll thank you for it.

 

As Stephen King Said, The First Draft is Yours…

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audiences, authors, craft of writing, editing, how to write, readers, rewriting, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a story, writing advice

When you write a story, you’re telling yourself the story. When you rewrite, your main job is taking out all the things that are not the story.

Wise words from the Master himself.

As a writer, I’ve noticed there is a balance between writing for yourself and writing for your audience. It seems like it is a delicate balance because a writer wants to please his/herself but at the same time, the audience must be kept in mind. We all write for someone when we write, and that someone isn’t always ourselves.

Image by Sideways Sarah via Flickr

Who do we write for? Is there a specific person in mind? Is it a specific demographic? Group of people? When I wrote The Dark Proposal, it was for people who wanted vampires to be evil again. The abusive relationship part was for me, I admit. But I did have an audience in mind when I wrote my first book, and have one in mind for its follow-up, which I’ll get to in a future post.

But I agree with Stephen King that when we first write a novel, it is to be for ourselves. Or else, it wouldn’t be fun. Writing to please someone the first time around is exhausting and takes to fun out, I think. It is when the actual work of a story, the editing part, is when it is time to get serious about the story.

I believe editing is where we all get serious about our writing work. We become aware of the mistakes and the things that don’t make sense. We become aware of what our audience really thinks, or at least, what we think they think. We become aware that our work is going to be read by hundreds or thousands of people. We realize this is serious business here. Enough of fun stuff, let’s get serious here.

That doesn’t mean rewriting and editing can’t be fun. You may be relieved to get rid of a couple of sentences or a whole scene that doesn’t fit in with the rest of the story, once you read everything over again. And let’s face it, if we didn’t love writing, we wouldn’t mind the rewriting and editing parts. It’s part of the job, so to speak. And don’t we want our work to be as polished as possible?

Come to think of it, the first draft of a story is more than just for you. It’s a gift you give yourself. The final draft of the story is a gift to your readers.

Onward…

Another Reason Why I’ve Delayed My Sequel…

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authors, book sequels, books, depression, hell, job from hell, mental health, mental illness, sequels, vampires, writing, writing a book, writing a novel

Before I start, I just want to make a couple of announcements:

First off, I will be blogging every Friday for now on. This is to gain momentum for the sequel to my first book, which by the way, is coming along smoothly. I’ve recently finished the first draft to Chapter 7, and have begun Chapter 8. That means I am about halfway, or more, done with the first draft! If all goes well – and I think it will – I’ll have the book published by February 2018.

If I do, it would mean I let five and a half years go by between my first book and its sequel. That’s a long time for an author to take a break between books within a series. I’ve written a lot about my insecurities with writing this sequel, as well as financial reasons for not going forward with it. But I had other reasons for not working much on this book.

It all started when I first moved to Brooklyn in May 2013. From there, I got busy adjusting to life on my own, and job searching. I mentioned on this blog that my job hunt was taking away from my writing, but I had to do with what I had to do. Eventually, I did find a job in the spring of 2014. At first, I was delighted with my new job at this small arts school. But very quickly, I soon realized I was in the job from hell.

And I mean, hell. Everything you can think of that can go wrong at a job happened. For starters, it was a shady place with rumors of grant money being pocketed, parents not seeing their money going where it was supposed to go, embezzlement, you name it. The owners of the school were abusive – verbally, emotionally and psychologically. There was also harassment and slander going on. The turnover rate was very high, and there was always a wonder when the IRS would show up. I was there for 15 months before leaving, or rather, running away from the place. Soon after, I sued my former employer in small claims court for tax fraud. We settled out of court, with me getting everything I asked.

Those 15 months took a huge toll on me. Everyday I would come home miserable, angry or even totally depressed. The strain of working at an abusive workplace caused me to have a mental breakdown. It also caused me to not have the energy to do any kind of writing. I believe that if I had not taken that job, I would have finished my sequel by now, and it would’ve been released by now.

So, that was 15 months taken away from writing. Granted, I was starting to have doubts about whether I wanted to continue writing anything fictional anymore when I first began the job. I was going through some personal changes and self-discovery, and was realizing where else I could point my writing skills towards. It is important not to put your talents or skills into a single box, and to know that your talents and skills could be used for multiple things. Basically, it is not the end of the world if you do not write a book.

But I still like creating characters, writing stories, making up worlds. It may not be the sole purpose to my existence, but it is a part of it. I have learned that I have other talents and abilities to add color to my life, and I intend to use them for places that deserve them.

At the same time, it is important to not waste your time at a job, or relationship, or anything, that sucks the life out of you. Life is short, and you are precious human being. There’s no reason to waste your self-worth on someone or something that doesn’t respect you.

And if you want to create, paint, dance, act…whichever, it is important that your mind is in the right place. Creativity is like a plant: If it doesn’t get sun, it withers. Bad energy blocks creativity, and it makes it wither.

So, there you go. One of the many reasons why my sequel to The Dark Proposal has been delayed. I hope what I told you here will be of help to you!

Is A Writer’s Work Ever Done?

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am writing, authors, editing, James Joyce, novelists, Ray Bradbury, re-write, satisfaction, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel

As I work on the sequel to The Dark Proposal, I find myself writing and re-writing scenes or even entire chapters again and again. It is mainly because I am not satisfied enough with what I had written, so I re-write whatever I’ve done. I do this three or four times before I can say that I am satisfied with my work. Satisfied enough to move on to the next chapter (BTW, I’m up to Chapter 7 now!!!).

Which makes me wonder: is a writer’s work ever done?

Answer: Probably not.

Writers are often their worst critics. We always think there is a better word to describe a character or scene than the one we chose. We always think there are better words for our characters to use. We always think there is a better way to end a scene or chapter. There’s always the right words to use…and yet, we never seem to find them.

Famed science fiction writer Ray Bradbury was said to have put his away his work for a year, before re-reading and re-editing his WIP. James Joyce, the author of the classic novel, Ulysses, was said to have spent all day debating where to put a comma in his WIP.

Writers are never satisfied. There is always room for improvement. There is always something better to describe, explain or talk about. There is always a better word to use, or two or three. And with some stories, there are endless possibilities with the main character(s) that sometimes we wonder if we are covering all the necessary bases, and if we have to cover all of them at all.

Being a writer is frustrating.

And it is not only fiction writers, journalists, essayists, poets and songwriters who deal with this. Even college students writing their countless assigned essays are never completely satisfied with their work. When I discuss re-writing and editing one’s work with my students, I am amazed by how many admit to re-writing their essays even before they hand them in. They always say, there is always room for improvement.

Always room for improvement. So, if nothing is perfect, when does the room for improvement end? When does a writer say, enough is enough! When do we stop driving ourselves crazy?

For me, there is a level of satisfaction that comes with writing that makes me say, enough is enough. I could re-write a whole chapter ad infinitum. But it gets to the point where I cannot let my insecurities rule me like that and I have to say to myself, this chapter is good enough. I am satisfied enough with what I put down. Maybe not 100% satisfied with it, because that is starting to look like an impossibility. But 90% satisfied? 85%? Sure! I can live with that.

I may always want to improve on that chapter, and may just do so in the future before I actually publish my work. But there comes a point where I would need to stop, and say, enough is enough.

 

When It Comes To Writing, Don’t Overdo It

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art of writing, authors, book sequels, novelists, On Writing, the craft of writing, the writing process, vampires, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, writing a story, writing advice

Writing a book teaches you a lot of things. You think you know, but you don’t know, and writing a book is quite an experience.

Writing a sequel is the same thing, only more. You continue to grow as a writer, while also learning tons about writing a follow-up.

Click here for original image on Jim Delorey’s website

One thing I am learning about writing a sequel is, don’t overdo it.

Heck, you shouldn’t overdo it when you write a first or stand-alone book.

But as I write my sequel, I realize there are times when I lose focus and I start to overdo it with my storytelling. Writing a sequel means picking up where you left off with the first book, and carrying on into another story or extending with the first book’s story. It is not as easy as it sounds. Especially when you realize there were some things that could’ve gone into the first book, and now you’re mentioning it in the second book.

And then you realize others things could be brought up. It’s like opening a can of worms when you write.

As I mentioned in my post about writing about vampires, world building is so much fun. But at times, it can be too much fun, and you might lose direction. That was a problem I had writing my sequel; I was having too much fun exploring the vampire world that I lost track of what I wanted the story to be about. When I revisited my work recently, I saw this and had to delete or re-arrange a few things.

Writing a story is so much fun. Writing a book is such a delight. But don’t try too hard. Don’t overdo anything. You can lose track and overwhelm yourself, your characters and the story altogether.

 

Choosing a Sequel’s Title…Plus an Excerpt!

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authors, blood, book excerpts, books, Indie books, novel, novels, On Writing, The Dark Proposal, The End of Eternity, vampire, vampire book, vampire books, vampire fiction, vampires, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, writing a story

Yesterday marked the four year anniversary that I self-published The Dark Proposal. Since then, I’ve been taking my sweet time writing its sequel. It’s been a long road working on it, with a lot of doubt mixed in. But I’m happy to say that I’m finally getting somewhere with it, and even have a title in mind!

Actually, I have two in mind. I am split between the two prospective titles, because they both represent the story.

One of them is, Blood Ties, which illustrates how torn Claire is between the vampire world and the human world. She now has vampire blood in her, yet she is trying to hold on to her humanity. As the vampire world becomes more and more troubled, where would her loyalties lie?

The other is Between Light and Dark, which also illustrates how torn Claire is. But in this case, she is also haunted by the mistakes she made that led her to become a vampire and is seeking some hope, hence the light. Furthermore, this title goes hand in hand with its predecessor – light, dark.

The more I write, the more I will figure out the title. Who knows, I might come up with something totally different.

In the meantime, check out this excerpt! Enjoy!

She grabbed her bathrobe, and went to the bathroom. She first started a shower, but switched to the bath once she realized Daniel would want to know why she was doing that. She was a vampire, no need to cleanse herself of anything, including him. So, her bubble baths would have to do. This was something she had begun doing since returning from Paris, and was one of the rare freedoms Daniel allowed for her. These baths weren’t just moments of indulgence for her. They made her feel clean, physically and mentally.

As she stripped off her bathrobe, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Did she recognize that person looking back at her? That person was a young woman with eyes that seemed as dead as the body she inhabited. Did she know she was staring back at herself?

Repulsion rose again and Claire had to calm down before she smashed the mirror. She let the tidal wave come, and it poured out in silent sobs. The blood tears came and flooded down her face onto the pristine sink. She didn’t care if the tears were really the blood of her victims or not. She just wanted a release.

After a few moments, she gathered herself enough to step into the tub. As she lied in the rosewood scented bubbles, the tears flowed more and she even choked a bit on her sobs. She made sure she did this quietly enough with the faucet running and the shower doors shut, so Daniel’s sharp hearing wouldn’t alert him. Luckily, he probably wasn’t even thinking about her right then.

Tilting her head back against the tub, Claire sighed and shook her head to herself. Her friends and family had no idea what she had become. She had rarely spoke to them since moving in with Daniel. The last time she spoke to her mother was on the phone two weeks ago. It was to wish her a happy birthday while explaining that she was too busy to visit. Her mother sounded frustrated, as she lately had been. But Claire also heard something else: helplessness. Her family had no clue on what was going on with her. It had to be agony for them to be lost like this. But if they ever found out, that agony would be replaced by outrage. She had put them in danger and she was now a monster. That would be it.

The same reaction would come from her two former best friends. Samantha would sound off obscenities while jabbing a finger at her, and Monica would storm off without saying a word. Claire would be left with only to turn to the vampire world she despised.

And she had to accept being a vampire.

She closed her eyes as a sob shook her. There was no way out of this. She had to be a vampire. She had to accept and live what she was now. No use in trying to maintain her humanity. Daniel was painfully right.

Claire’s body tightened. She could still feel him inside of her, using her like a masturbation device.

And she was attached to him for eternity. No matter what, he would be a big part of her life. The mere thought sickened her right to the bone, and she wanted to vomit.

A single blood tear rolled down her face, and she roughly brushed it away. Opening her eyes, she saw the bubbles and the water were tainted with blood. Blood from her tears.

Stunned, Claire stared at the bubbles and water around her. The blood was like ink, with its redness swirling around in the water, or relaxing to dye it faint red. Some of that inky crimson hue was caught in the bubbles. A large one rested near her left knee and it had that thick redness inside. It looked trapped, stuck in endless whirling, with no way of getting out, unless the bubble would burst.

Claire blinked a few times to rid herself of the shock. Even her cherished baths were blood stained. Her life was now bound by blood. Blood would be everywhere for her. Her very existence will be consumed by blood, and she will consume it, too. Blood and her were forever entwined. There was no more room for denial.

She gritted her teeth. There was no way she was going to live her life like that. She was so much better than this. She was not the sadistic killer Daniel wanted her to believe. She was not going to relish in human blood, no matter how much her new nature insisted. She was not going to embrace her vampire self.

Claire unplugged the drainer and stood to turn on the shower. Using her supernatural speed, she rinsed herself off of the ugly bubbles and water. Not only didn’t she want Daniel to hear the shower and get curious, but she also wanted to be rid of the redness as soon as she could. Claire’s anger began to crash down her regret and gain more steam. She was angry at Daniel and herself, and that anger was getting stronger with each rough stroke of her skin.

Once relieved of the bloody filth, she turned off the faucet. Glancing down at the floor of the tub, she saw the remaining bubbles and water were not fully rid of their redness. Worse, the tub’s porcelain now had a faint pink hue and might need some cleaning to be white again.

An ache suddenly came from her upper arms and torso. When she looked, she saw she had scratched herself while rubbing her skin in super-quick speed. Thin lines of blood had formed on her arms, stomach and chest.

Claire’s anger disappeared as quickly as the water going down the drain.

Letting out a sigh, she hung her head.

She was unsure of what to do that very minute, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year…

The only thing she was certain about was to lower herself onto the floor of the tub, pull her knees up, bury her forehead on them, and lose herself in her thoughts.

Blood had bound her to this world is more ways than one. She didn’t want either, but had no other choice. Only she didn’t want to follow through on that choice.

But what else could she do? There was no way out of this. It was permanent, and likely eternal, whatever that meant. She would never again be human, no matter how much she wished she still was.

All she could really do was get used to it.

But how?