Another Reason Why I’ve Delayed My Sequel…

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authors, book sequels, books, depression, hell, job from hell, mental health, mental illness, sequels, vampires, writing, writing a book, writing a novel

Before I start, I just want to make a couple of announcements:

First off, I will be blogging every Friday for now on. This is to gain momentum for the sequel to my first book, which by the way, is coming along smoothly. I’ve recently finished the first draft to Chapter 7, and have begun Chapter 8. That means I am about halfway, or more, done with the first draft! If all goes well – and I think it will – I’ll have the book published by February 2018.

If I do, it would mean I let five and a half years go by between my first book and its sequel. That’s a long time for an author to take a break between books within a series. I’ve written a lot about my insecurities with writing this sequel, as well as financial reasons for not going forward with it. But I had other reasons for not working much on this book.

It all started when I first moved to Brooklyn in May 2013. From there, I got busy adjusting to life on my own, and job searching. I mentioned on this blog that my job hunt was taking away from my writing, but I had to do with what I had to do. Eventually, I did find a job in the spring of 2014. At first, I was delighted with my new job at this small arts school. But very quickly, I soon realized I was in the job from hell.

And I mean, hell. Everything you can think of that can go wrong at a job happened. For starters, it was a shady place with rumors of grant money being pocketed, parents not seeing their money going where it was supposed to go, embezzlement, you name it. The owners of the school were abusive – verbally, emotionally and psychologically. There was also harassment and slander going on. The turnover rate was very high, and there was always a wonder when the IRS would show up. I was there for 15 months before leaving, or rather, running away from the place. Soon after, I sued my former employer in small claims court for tax fraud. We settled out of court, with me getting everything I asked.

Those 15 months took a huge toll on me. Everyday I would come home miserable, angry or even totally depressed. The strain of working at an abusive workplace caused me to have a mental breakdown. It also caused me to not have the energy to do any kind of writing. I believe that if I had not taken that job, I would have finished my sequel by now, and it would’ve been released by now.

So, that was 15 months taken away from writing. Granted, I was starting to have doubts about whether I wanted to continue writing anything fictional anymore when I first began the job. I was going through some personal changes and self-discovery, and was realizing where else I could point my writing skills towards. It is important not to put your talents or skills into a single box, and to know that your talents and skills could be used for multiple things. Basically, it is not the end of the world if you do not write a book.

But I still like creating characters, writing stories, making up worlds. It may not be the sole purpose to my existence, but it is a part of it. I have learned that I have other talents and abilities to add color to my life, and I intend to use them for places that deserve them.

At the same time, it is important to not waste your time at a job, or relationship, or anything, that sucks the life out of you. Life is short, and you are precious human being. There’s no reason to waste your self-worth on someone or something that doesn’t respect you.

And if you want to create, paint, dance, act…whichever, it is important that your mind is in the right place. Creativity is like a plant: If it doesn’t get sun, it withers. Bad energy blocks creativity, and it makes it wither.

So, there you go. One of the many reasons why my sequel to The Dark Proposal has been delayed. I hope what I told you here will be of help to you!

Is A Writer’s Work Ever Done?

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am writing, authors, editing, James Joyce, novelists, Ray Bradbury, re-write, satisfaction, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel

As I work on the sequel to The Dark Proposal, I find myself writing and re-writing scenes or even entire chapters again and again. It is mainly because I am not satisfied enough with what I had written, so I re-write whatever I’ve done. I do this three or four times before I can say that I am satisfied with my work. Satisfied enough to move on to the next chapter (BTW, I’m up to Chapter 7 now!!!).

Which makes me wonder: is a writer’s work ever done?

Answer: Probably not.

Writers are often their worst critics. We always think there is a better word to describe a character or scene than the one we chose. We always think there are better words for our characters to use. We always think there is a better way to end a scene or chapter. There’s always the right words to use…and yet, we never seem to find them.

Famed science fiction writer Ray Bradbury was said to have put his away his work for a year, before re-reading and re-editing his WIP. James Joyce, the author of the classic novel, Ulysses, was said to have spent all day debating where to put a comma in his WIP.

Writers are never satisfied. There is always room for improvement. There is always something better to describe, explain or talk about. There is always a better word to use, or two or three. And with some stories, there are endless possibilities with the main character(s) that sometimes we wonder if we are covering all the necessary bases, and if we have to cover all of them at all.

Being a writer is frustrating.

And it is not only fiction writers, journalists, essayists, poets and songwriters who deal with this. Even college students writing their countless assigned essays are never completely satisfied with their work. When I discuss re-writing and editing one’s work with my students, I am amazed by how many admit to re-writing their essays even before they hand them in. They always say, there is always room for improvement.

Always room for improvement. So, if nothing is perfect, when does the room for improvement end? When does a writer say, enough is enough! When do we stop driving ourselves crazy?

For me, there is a level of satisfaction that comes with writing that makes me say, enough is enough. I could re-write a whole chapter ad infinitum. But it gets to the point where I cannot let my insecurities rule me like that and I have to say to myself, this chapter is good enough. I am satisfied enough with what I put down. Maybe not 100% satisfied with it, because that is starting to look like an impossibility. But 90% satisfied? 85%? Sure! I can live with that.

I may always want to improve on that chapter, and may just do so in the future before I actually publish my work. But there comes a point where I would need to stop, and say, enough is enough.

 

When It Comes To Writing, Don’t Overdo It

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art of writing, authors, book sequels, novelists, On Writing, the craft of writing, the writing process, vampires, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, writing a story, writing advice

Writing a book teaches you a lot of things. You think you know, but you don’t know, and writing a book is quite an experience.

Writing a sequel is the same thing, only more. You continue to grow as a writer, while also learning tons about writing a follow-up.

Click here for original image on Jim Delorey’s website

One thing I am learning about writing a sequel is, don’t overdo it.

Heck, you shouldn’t overdo it when you write a first or stand-alone book.

But as I write my sequel, I realize there are times when I lose focus and I start to overdo it with my storytelling. Writing a sequel means picking up where you left off with the first book, and carrying on into another story or extending with the first book’s story. It is not as easy as it sounds. Especially when you realize there were some things that could’ve gone into the first book, and now you’re mentioning it in the second book.

And then you realize others things could be brought up. It’s like opening a can of worms when you write.

As I mentioned in my post about writing about vampires, world building is so much fun. But at times, it can be too much fun, and you might lose direction. That was a problem I had writing my sequel; I was having too much fun exploring the vampire world that I lost track of what I wanted the story to be about. When I revisited my work recently, I saw this and had to delete or re-arrange a few things.

Writing a story is so much fun. Writing a book is such a delight. But don’t try too hard. Don’t overdo anything. You can lose track and overwhelm yourself, your characters and the story altogether.

 

Choosing a Sequel’s Title…Plus an Excerpt!

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authors, blood, book excerpts, books, Indie books, novel, novels, On Writing, The Dark Proposal, The End of Eternity, vampire, vampire book, vampire books, vampire fiction, vampires, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, writing a story

Yesterday marked the four year anniversary that I self-published The Dark Proposal. Since then, I’ve been taking my sweet time writing its sequel. It’s been a long road working on it, with a lot of doubt mixed in. But I’m happy to say that I’m finally getting somewhere with it, and even have a title in mind!

Actually, I have two in mind. I am split between the two prospective titles, because they both represent the story.

One of them is, Blood Ties, which illustrates how torn Claire is between the vampire world and the human world. She now has vampire blood in her, yet she is trying to hold on to her humanity. As the vampire world becomes more and more troubled, where would her loyalties lie?

The other is Between Light and Dark, which also illustrates how torn Claire is. But in this case, she is also haunted by the mistakes she made that led her to become a vampire and is seeking some hope, hence the light. Furthermore, this title goes hand in hand with its predecessor – light, dark.

The more I write, the more I will figure out the title. Who knows, I might come up with something totally different.

In the meantime, check out this excerpt! Enjoy!

She grabbed her bathrobe, and went to the bathroom. She first started a shower, but switched to the bath once she realized Daniel would want to know why she was doing that. She was a vampire, no need to cleanse herself of anything, including him. So, her bubble baths would have to do. This was something she had begun doing since returning from Paris, and was one of the rare freedoms Daniel allowed for her. These baths weren’t just moments of indulgence for her. They made her feel clean, physically and mentally.

As she stripped off her bathrobe, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Did she recognize that person looking back at her? That person was a young woman with eyes that seemed as dead as the body she inhabited. Did she know she was staring back at herself?

Repulsion rose again and Claire had to calm down before she smashed the mirror. She let the tidal wave come, and it poured out in silent sobs. The blood tears came and flooded down her face onto the pristine sink. She didn’t care if the tears were really the blood of her victims or not. She just wanted a release.

After a few moments, she gathered herself enough to step into the tub. As she lied in the rosewood scented bubbles, the tears flowed more and she even choked a bit on her sobs. She made sure she did this quietly enough with the faucet running and the shower doors shut, so Daniel’s sharp hearing wouldn’t alert him. Luckily, he probably wasn’t even thinking about her right then.

Tilting her head back against the tub, Claire sighed and shook her head to herself. Her friends and family had no idea what she had become. She had rarely spoke to them since moving in with Daniel. The last time she spoke to her mother was on the phone two weeks ago. It was to wish her a happy birthday while explaining that she was too busy to visit. Her mother sounded frustrated, as she lately had been. But Claire also heard something else: helplessness. Her family had no clue on what was going on with her. It had to be agony for them to be lost like this. But if they ever found out, that agony would be replaced by outrage. She had put them in danger and she was now a monster. That would be it.

The same reaction would come from her two former best friends. Samantha would sound off obscenities while jabbing a finger at her, and Monica would storm off without saying a word. Claire would be left with only to turn to the vampire world she despised.

And she had to accept being a vampire.

She closed her eyes as a sob shook her. There was no way out of this. She had to be a vampire. She had to accept and live what she was now. No use in trying to maintain her humanity. Daniel was painfully right.

Claire’s body tightened. She could still feel him inside of her, using her like a masturbation device.

And she was attached to him for eternity. No matter what, he would be a big part of her life. The mere thought sickened her right to the bone, and she wanted to vomit.

A single blood tear rolled down her face, and she roughly brushed it away. Opening her eyes, she saw the bubbles and the water were tainted with blood. Blood from her tears.

Stunned, Claire stared at the bubbles and water around her. The blood was like ink, with its redness swirling around in the water, or relaxing to dye it faint red. Some of that inky crimson hue was caught in the bubbles. A large one rested near her left knee and it had that thick redness inside. It looked trapped, stuck in endless whirling, with no way of getting out, unless the bubble would burst.

Claire blinked a few times to rid herself of the shock. Even her cherished baths were blood stained. Her life was now bound by blood. Blood would be everywhere for her. Her very existence will be consumed by blood, and she will consume it, too. Blood and her were forever entwined. There was no more room for denial.

She gritted her teeth. There was no way she was going to live her life like that. She was so much better than this. She was not the sadistic killer Daniel wanted her to believe. She was not going to relish in human blood, no matter how much her new nature insisted. She was not going to embrace her vampire self.

Claire unplugged the drainer and stood to turn on the shower. Using her supernatural speed, she rinsed herself off of the ugly bubbles and water. Not only didn’t she want Daniel to hear the shower and get curious, but she also wanted to be rid of the redness as soon as she could. Claire’s anger began to crash down her regret and gain more steam. She was angry at Daniel and herself, and that anger was getting stronger with each rough stroke of her skin.

Once relieved of the bloody filth, she turned off the faucet. Glancing down at the floor of the tub, she saw the remaining bubbles and water were not fully rid of their redness. Worse, the tub’s porcelain now had a faint pink hue and might need some cleaning to be white again.

An ache suddenly came from her upper arms and torso. When she looked, she saw she had scratched herself while rubbing her skin in super-quick speed. Thin lines of blood had formed on her arms, stomach and chest.

Claire’s anger disappeared as quickly as the water going down the drain.

Letting out a sigh, she hung her head.

She was unsure of what to do that very minute, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year…

The only thing she was certain about was to lower herself onto the floor of the tub, pull her knees up, bury her forehead on them, and lose herself in her thoughts.

Blood had bound her to this world is more ways than one. She didn’t want either, but had no other choice. Only she didn’t want to follow through on that choice.

But what else could she do? There was no way out of this. It was permanent, and likely eternal, whatever that meant. She would never again be human, no matter how much she wished she still was.

All she could really do was get used to it.

But how?

 

 

 

Writing and Editing at the Same Time

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authors, craft of writing, edit, editing, editor, edits, novelists, the writing process, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, Writing tips

Some say when you write a novel, you should write first and save the editing for later. After all, if you do both, you’ll become distracted from the real goal of finishing the story’s first draft.

Well, I happen to be one of those people who edits as she writes. Meaning, I don’t save the editing for after I am through with the first draft; it is my priority alongside my writing.

Image by Nic McPhee via Flickr

Usually what I do before I write is that I read over the previous scene or two. Often I do this in order to get a feel for what is going on, so I could get into the ‘mode’, if you will. As I read over the scene, or scenes, I notice grammar or spelling errors. I also notice wordy paragraphs, redundant sentences, and things not well explained. So I edit these parts instead of saving them for later. I believe it is best to polish your work while you are creating it.

To best illustrate this, think of a sculptor. As the sculptor chips or carves away, some leftover pieces of the clay or stone remain on the artwork. This could be dust or pieces not yet brushed away. A sculptor has to brush away those pieces in order to continue with its work.

In other words, when I write, I edit in order to move on. The previous step – in this case, a previous scene – needs to be sharpened as much as possible before I move on. Of course, the actual sharpening comes much later, but I am all for sharpening all the way. It is a way of perfecting your work, and possibly making the editing easier in the end. It is also a good warm-up for the writing you are about to do.

How about you? What is your take on editing as a novelist writes? Do you support it or believe it hinders a writer rather than helps? What is your method of writing and editing?

Fire away!

Writing the Theme of Your Story

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art of writing, authors, character arc, character development, craft of writing, creative writing, story arc, story development, story theme, theme, themes, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, writing a story

Themes are a big part of a story, any story – especially the good ones. They’re as important as, say, character arcs, plot development and so on. They’re the heart and soul of the story.

As author K.M. Weiland explained on her website:

Why are you writing this story? Why are you writing about these characters? What is it about their journey that has drawn your heart? What is the core of the tale? Justice, mercy, love, revenge, self-discovery? Whatever it is that’s moving the characters is what’s also moving your story. That’s your theme.

Supposedly, theme cannot be planned or forced, but instead come naturally. Theme appears in the story as you write your arcs and developments. It blossoms on its own, an echo of your subconscious. It is the fuel for your story. It is the reason why a writer writes in the first place.

Anne Rice wrote Interview with the Vampire to explore death, mortality and losing God. The Kite Runner is look at the complicated relationship between fathers and sons. Love in the Time of Cholera‘s theme is love in all its variations.

So, why did I write The Dark Proposal? And why am I writing its sequel?

The reason why I wrote my first book is because I wanted to explore abusive relationships. Having been in difficult ones – though no where near as Claire did with Daniel – I felt like I needed a release. I also wanted to write a vampire story where the vampires were once again evil and deadly – the exact opposite of what was popular four years ago.

But did I succeed with theme? What was the theme of my story?

Chuck Wendig describes theme on his blog as:

Every story’s trying to say something. It’s trying to beam an idea, a message, into the minds of the readers. In this way, every story is an argument. It’s the writer making a case. It’s the writer saying, “All of life is suffering.” Or, “Man will be undone by his prideful reach.” Or “Love blows.” Or, “If you dance with the Devil Wombat, you get cornholed by the Devil Wombat.” This argument is the story’s theme.

A friend of mine says the central idea of The Dark Proposal was “be careful what you wish for”. He explains that Claire so wanted to have a rich lifestyle, that she was blind to Daniel’s abusive ways, and then later, used it as escapism for the vampire life she was about to enter. That’s one way to look at the argument.

Image via Pixabay

I have grown so much as a writer during the four years since I wrote my first book. Today, I am focused on going deep with my stories and being more honest with myself when I write. I don’t think I was very honest as a writer when I wrote The Dark Proposal. Part of me cringes when I admit that. But as one musician friend told me, if you do that, then it means you are growing as an artist.

Writing from the heart is not easy. You are literally exposing yourself as a human to hundreds, thousands and maybe even more to judge and tear apart. It is scary enough to produce a book that you poured your heart and soul into. And by that, I don’t mean every part of your mind. The best artworks come from the very essence of the person, their heart.

So as I seek to be more honest as a writer, what theme do I hope will come out of The Dark Proposal’s sequel? I know I cannot force it, but I really hope redemption and healing would be one or both. Actually, I hope it will be the theme for the whole trilogy (yes, my book was meant to be the first of three). I also like the whole “be careful what you wish for” theme will come into play. I’m sure there’s always more than one theme in a story, or different ways to figure out the theme.

Or rather, what kind of redemption and healing do my characters need in order to fuel that theme?

Claire needs to heal and be redeemed from her mistakes and naivete. Daniel needs to be redeemed from being so evil. There is room for redemption and healing for Hilde, the Five Brothers and even The Black Roses. Even Samantha and Monica need to heal. There’s a lot of pain in The Dark Proposal, and everyone has a lot of coming to terms to do.

Which raises another question: what kind of writer do I intend to be? Sure, I want to be one that goes deep with questions and the human experience. But will be the regular theme in my stories? Will there always be a re-occurring one? Who knows? But since themes come from the heart of the writer, maybe the themes of my stories will be similar, just written differently. Or not. It also depends on the perspective of the reader.

The key here is to keep on writing, and get more to the heart of what I’m trying to say, or express. But I obviously cannot force myself to expose my heart in a story, just like a theme cannot be forced.

I’ll let Chuck Wendig finish off the meaning of theme:

A writer can engineer the theme — building it into the work. Or a writer can unearth it — discovering its tendrils after the work is written.

 

Outlining Your Story Using Spreadsheets

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authors, Being an Author, books, Excel, novels, plots, spreadsheets, story plots, storytelling, subplots, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel

I’ll be the first to say that I am a Spreadsheet Queen. I can’t live without spreadsheets. Whether it is to keep track of finances, freelance work, or plans for the summer, spreadsheets is the way to go for me, and likely for many other people.

That probably also includes fellow authors outlining their next book. Some authors choose between outlining or flying by the seat of their pants when it comes to writing. I myself have debated this issue. But lately, due to my crazy schedule, I find it best to outline. And I’ve made that possible for myself through spreadsheets.

How do I outline using spreadsheets? Simple. I make each column represent each chapter. So when you see my sheet, you’ll see Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3… all lined up in columns. Next, I put the scenes of each chapter in the rows. This is a good way to figure out which scene should end or begin a chapter, or which scene belongs in which chapter.

Photo by Craig Chew-Moulding on Flickr via Creative Commons

Doing this has made the planning of my sequel very easy. Granted, I do not stick to it religiously; I have moved a few scenes around and added a few more without consulting my spreadsheet. But overall, spreadsheets has been helping me keep track of the scenes of my second book.

It is not unusual for authors to use this to help plot their books. JK Rowling plotted her Harry Potter books using spreadsheets, and I’ve seen a few other, less-known authors do the same thing.

Because life can be so busy sometimes, I recommend authors to outline their stories. It is too easy to come up with an idea, only to not be able to write it down because either you’re at work, going to or from work, or busy with home life. Also, writing is a discipline, and if you are working on a book, you need to be organized and professional about your craft and your story. I was not like this when I wrote my first book, but then again, I was unemployed at the time. That meant having plenty of time to write whenever I pleased, as much as I wanted.

Nowadays, I do not have that luxury and I have to rely on spreadsheets to make my next book possible. It is funny how being a professional these days has made me rely on a program intended for professionals, in order to be more professional with my story!

Raise your hand if you use spreadsheets to help organize your story!

 

Getting Past the Third Chapter

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art of writing, author, books, creative writing, fiction writing, novel, novelists, novels, On Writing, writers, writing, writing a book, writing a novel, writing fiction

I did it. I finally did it.

Earlier this month, I finally did something I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do.

I completed the third chapter of my sequel.

Holy crap. I did it!

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

I always felt the third chapter should be the springboard in a story. It certainly was with “The Dark Proposal”, and I wanted the same with its sequel. The first two chapters were like a gathering of information, an intro to what the book will be based on. The third chapter feels like it will build on all of that, and set off the rest of the book. But for a long time, every time I worked on the sequel, I just couldn’t get past the third chapter.

This was due to a lot of reasons. There were times where I wasn’t fully sure with what I wanted from my story and characters. It is tough to write a sequel because you have to improve on a lot of things from the first book. You have to delve deeper into the story, develop the main characters (and possibly other characters) more, and really improve on your storytelling skills. In other words, a sequel is a step up from the previous story in many ways.

Then came times when I wasn’t sure if I was really over the hurdle. Meaning, I would read over the third chapter again and again, revising and revising it, trying to make sure it was good enough. Was it as much of a springboard that it needed to be? Did it really prepare the reader for the rest of the book? Was the chapter strong enough for me to move on to the rest of the story?

Well, a couple of weeks ago, I felt that way. I felt my third chapter was satisfying enough for me to continue writing the story. The springboard had a bounce to it.

While it will obviously go through rewrites and revisions like the rest of the book, I felt it was good enough for me journey on. I had gotten past the hurdle.

And boy, what a relief that is.

 

 

Being an Author While Working Full-Time

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authors, working full time, writers, writing, writing a book

Like most people, I find it difficult to do the things I would like to do instead of being at my job forty hours per week. One of those of things is working on my novels.

Ever since I began working at my current job last year, it has been hard for me to squeeze in time to do my writing. When I wrote The Dark Proposal, I was unemployed and had no problem spending a few hours a day three or four times a week writing what would be my first published novel. A full open day allowed less stress and more of a chance to complete my book. A tall skinny vanilla latte at Starbucks or a lemonade from Panera Bread helped a lot too!

But now since my free time is much reduced, it has been a hassle to work on The Dark Proposal’s sequel. I do spend some weekends writing, which is good, and I find time in the evenings after dinner. But I have other priorities: meeting with friends and family, yoga classes, and other commitments that take away from my work. That is not to say that I am not committed to writing and finishing my sequel; I simply have a different schedule to work with.

Plenty of authors have other demands than their books, and few are able to survive as full time authors. Many have full time jobs, or they attend college or graduate school full time. Some even have spouses and/or kids to take care of. Somewhere in there, they find time to write.

I’ve talked to some authors about this issue and the advice they give is, make your writing a priority and find time to work on it. If writing is less important than work or school, then do it when you are not busy with those. But if there’s anything else that is not more important than your work in progress, set that aside and work on your novel.

It sounds easier said than done, but I’m managing it better. It is still hard for me to put on my writer’s hat and focus on my work sometimes, especially with my other priorities in life. But the important thing is that I try and I focus when I can.

In the meantime, I’ve resorted to taking notes during my lunch break or downtime at work. I’m not able to write at work, mainly because there isn’t that much free time, and plus, I wouldn’t be able to get into the zone well. I could do some writing then, though, and improve on what I put down when I get home. But that can happen with whatever free time that’s available. See? It’s all about making your writing a priority.

I do wish I had completed my sequel much sooner, but it is not realistic to wish that. Life happens and you have to make the adjustments. So in the meantime, I am working on my sequel (likely to be called Blood Ties) while finding the appropriate time to do so. Telling stories is my first love, but feeding myself is the ultimate priority.

ON A SIDE NOTE: Smashwords recently began allowing author interviews on its site, and I did mine yesterday. Basically, Smashwords provides questions that you can pick and choose which ones you’ll answer. Here is my interview! https://www.smashwords.com/interview/MeganCashman